Reluctance
by awkwardconversation
Summary: ***WARNING***Post Civil War so if ya haven't seen the movie STAY AWAY! Ella Macoy is a psychologist with abilities. She is being hunted unbeknownst to her. As Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes seek to find a way to undo what has been done to Bucky they seek out Ella to offer her their protection in return for her services to help Bucky. **TO BE CONTINUED**
1. Chapter 1

**Post Civil War ***POSSIBLE SPOILERS*** so if you have not seen the movie****STAY AWAY*****

 **Plus I own no characters-just having fun writing,**

"Ella?" said Steve Rogers to the dark haired woman in front of him in the long coffe line at PJ's cafe.

The woman turned and looked at him, "Excuse me? Do I know you?" she said seeing the tall sandy haired man behind her. An equally tall dark haired man next to him. She sensed no threat.

"No, but we need to talk with you. " he said as she stepped up to the counter to order she ignored answering him.

"I'll have a medium dark roast." she said.

"Could you make that three?" said the sandy haired man placing money down before the cashier.

Ella looked at the man behind her still assessing him, "Thank you." she said handing him the money she was going to use to pay for her coffee.

"Your welcome." he said shaking his head to refuse the money. "We just need five minutes of your time." he said as they grabbed their coffees and stepped out of line. They followed her to a small table in the corner of the cafe.

"Ok five minutes." she said sitting down. "Do I get any names?" she said watching them each take their seats. The sandy haired man seemd kind but she was not so sure of the dark haired one.

"My name is Steve Rogers." he said extending his hand. She shook it.

"I'm James Barnes. People call me, Bucky. " he said extenidng his hand. She shook it.

"Nice to meet you Steve and James." she said.

Bucky slightly cringed as he preferred Bucky but he wasn't going to correct her.

"We need your help and you need ours." said Steve.

"I'm not following?" she said confused.

"You're a psychologist." said Steve.

"Yes." she said still confused.

"Bucky, James, needs some counseling. " he said, " and you need our protection."

"Ok, we will table the first request and for the second, who says I need protection?" she asked getting a lttle irritated that these two strange men assert she needs them.

"We know about your ability and the men who did this to you are in this city to find you." said Steve leaning into speak quietly. "The same men experimented on Bucky. He has memory loss and we need your help in trying to undo what they have done. We don't know that you can. We are just asking you to try." said Steve.

"I think your five minutes is up." she said sipping her coffee. "I don't need protecting. I would know if someone was after me. You know my ability. "

Steve sat back looking at Bucky. He just shrugged. Steve's eyes shifted to two men who just enetered. He recognized the from the security footage. They were the man who were following Ella. Ella's head abruptly turned towards them. Without a word she stood and walked to the back of the cafe. She hurried out the exit as the two men ran out the front. Steve and Bucky moved towards the back exit. The exit emptied into an alleyway. Ella was running down the alley behind the next building. Steve and Bucky headed after her. Suddenly they saw a man tackle her to the ground. They both ran faster. They saw Ella laying still as he drag her by the leg on the ground disappearing into side alley. Suddenly they saw the man tossed into the back alley. It appeared to be the man who had been dragging her. They looked down the smaller alley by the building and saw Ella standing, "See," she said, "I don't need protection." A blast hit bricks by her head. Steve grabbed her protectively and pulled her to the ground as Bucky jumped in front of them.

"The roof." said Bucky as he jumped onto the fire escape and climbed to the roof.

The two men from the cafe appeared with guns pointing at Steve and Ella. "Don't move." they said. Steve and Ella put their hands in the air.

"What do you want?" asked Ella.

"You." said the man aiming the gun at Steve.

"No!" she said as she dashed in front of him. He grabbed her and pulled her to the ground as the bullet hit the wall. Steve grabbed a trash can lid and threw it at him, as if it was his shield, hitting the man in the face knocking him unconcious. The second man fired at them narrowly missing. As Steve shielded her a second shot rang out. Steve kept Ella covered bracing for more shots. There was silence as Steve looked up to see the man lying n the ground in the alley. He looked up to see Bucky from the roof with a gun pointed at the man. He climbed down.

"I think we need to get out of here." said Bucky as his feet hit int he alley.

They both looked to Ella. "Fine, it's a deal then." she conceded.


	2. Chapter 2

The three drove to the apartment Steve and Bucky occupied. It was a small two bedroom in Brooklyn. It was neat and tidy but definitely looked as if occupied by men.

"So, nice place. When are you dropping me off at mine? Or should I take a cab?" she asked sitting on their couch. The place looked like something out of the 1940's she thought.

"We will take you to pick up your things in a bit." said Steve.

"Why would I pick up my things?" she asked. "Wait," she said, " I'm not moving in here." she said as it hit her.

"That's the safest way for us to keep an eye on you." said Bucky. "You'll have your own bedroom. I can take the couch. "

Ella shook her head, "You guys, I can't. I can't shack up with two guys? I don't know you and I'm a bit traditional as things go. Even under protective custody or whatever you call it."

"Now you sound like Steve." joked Bucky. Steve shot him a look that told him now was not the time. "Look, we're both stand up guys with a moral compass. You're just sharing a room with two old fashioned gentleman. Literally."

Steve looked at him and smiled. "Literally." he mused.

"Am I wrong?" Bucky said smiling back.

"No, no." he laughed.

She had to admit they seemed harmless and their playful banter was rather cute. She didn't want to let on.

"Alright, when can I get my stuff?" she asked.

* * *

"Sorry, they took out the team." said Michaels.

Rumlow fumed. His face had been disfigured in the explosion. He's spent a year in rehabilitation and therapy. He was ready now to seek revenge. "Then send another team and another! Rogers can't keep her protected."

"Sargeant Barnes is with them," said Michaels.

Rumlow paused. "Barnes?"

"Yes." said Michaels.

"Then this should be easy." he said smiling. "Killing two birds with one stone."

* * *

They picked up Ella's things and returned to the apartment.

"Why me?" she asked after putting her things in Bucky's room since she was taking his bed. "I mean, why seek me out to help and how did you know I was being targeted. It's been five years since the experiments. I thought I was under their radar for good. I thought Hydra went down with S.H.I.E.L.D. I haven't sensed any danger in years except for the run of the mill New York mugger."

"Well you came highly reccomended by Tony Stark recommended. He is the one who gave us the intel that you were being targeted and that you may be able to help Bucky. And to answer your question of why now? I have no ansnwer." said Steve apologetically.

"That doesn't mean we can't keep you safe. Although I did want to ask how you managed the man in the alley." said Bucky.

"Did you need some pointers? " she teased. Steve smiled at her.

"I'm always looking to improve." he replied smiling back. He appreciated the humor.

"I don't know? Adrenaline?" she replied.

"Ella, you are like 100 pounds. " said Bucky. "He was easily two to three times your weight." he said.

"You sure know how to flatter a girl and you would be horrible as the weight guesser at the county fair. I am 130lbs and five feet six inches. I have my ways." she said feeling the need to defend herself.

"We're just glad you're ok." said Steve sensing her defensiveness.

Bucky looked at her and shook his head in agreement with Steve.

"I'm glad you two are also." she said looking at her two protectors. She was going to have to get used to this.

"So, how does this work? I never see the light of day?" she asked.

"Not without us." said Steve.

"Seriously?"she sighed.

"Yep." said Bucky. "Now, did you want to shower with Steve or me tonight?"

She looked at him mortified.

"Bucky, stop!" Steve scolded . "He's completely joking."

"I'm sorry. Yes, I'm joking. The look on your face was worth it though." he said smling at her.

She looked at him digusted.

"Would you like some tea or water?" asked Steve changing the subject to put the room at ease.

"I'm fine. I think I might have scraped my back in the alley." she said removing her jacket. Steve cringed as he saw blood staning the shirt.

"Yeah, looks like you have some bleeding. " he said as he walked behind the couch she sat on. Bucky joined him.

"Great, well, time to put your chivalry to the test. One of you is going to have to look at it." she said. As she turned to look at them she swore they were both blushing. Good, she thought.

"Ok, roomies, I'm just going to lift up my shirt in the back and tell me how it looks." she said feeling nervous. She lifted the shirt as the two men stood behind the couch. They were silent. "Well, how bad is it?" she asked.

"Uhm, there's nothing there?" said Steve confused.

"He's right, Nothing." said Bucky.

Ella jumped up. How can that be? You said my shirt was bloody?" She pulled her arms in her shirt and turned it on her body to see the back. She saw the blood pattern consistent with the scraping on the pavement. "I don't understand."

"Maybe it was part of the experiments? Have you noticed you heal faster?" asked Bucky.

She just stared at her shirt. "No." She snapped from her trance. "Uhm, I haven't noticed." she said looking at him. She could see in his face that he understood her confusion and pain. She never truly understood what they did to her or why. She had an anger about it but no target to thrust that anger at. "I think I want to shower." she said walking to the bathroom. She turned back smiling to break the serious mood and said, "Alone." They both chuckled. "I mean it." she said changing her joking tone to stern. Both smiled at her and threw their hands up in resignation. She did feel safer and it was a change of pace from her hermit living in New York, but she knew she couldn't stay. Now that she knew Bucky also had been experimented on she could be putting him in danger too by leading the guys right to him. Maybe that was the reason and maybe it was because she was scared she couldn't help Bucky.


	3. Chapter 3

Rumlow was escorted into the large meeting room. Josef Kreutz greeted him.

"Heir Kruetz. It's a pleasure to meet you. I appreciate your time." said Rumlow.

"It is my pleasure. Please sit." said Kruetz gesturing to the chair next to him at the large oak table. "What business did you need to discuss."

"I've been assigned to bring in the former experiment K348, Ella Macoy." he said as he watched the man's expression change from pleasant to irritation. "It seems my job may be easier than expected with your cooperation."

Kruetz took a deep breath, "How so?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"She is currently in the protective custody of Steve Rogers and Jamed Barnes formerly known as the Winter Soldier." said Rumlow. "I personally have some unfinished business with Rogers." he said speaking of his near death experience yet again at the indirect hands of Rogers.

"And you want from me?" he asked.

"They key to flipping the switch for Barnes. If we can control him, you get Ella back, and I get Rogers. You'll have both your prized experiments back. I assume that will go far with your superiors in rebuilding Hydra and what Rogers has taken from you." said Rumlow persuading him.

Kruetz looked to Rumlow studying him. Kruetz had lost everything as Hyrda crumbled within S.H.I. . Ella had left the experiment prematurely. If he had her back to finish what was started and also had control of Barnes, the Winter Soldier it could mean the resurgence of Hydra especially if Rogers could be eliminated.

"Ada, could you please bring our guest some coffee." he said smiling at Rumlow. "We have much to discuss."

* * *

Ella showered. It felt good. She could hear Steve and Bucky talking but she did not hear specifically what they were taking about. She didn't care. She wrapped herself in a towel and stepped from the tub. She caught sight of her bloodied t-shirt on the floor. What was going on, she wondered. She dressed in a tank top, pajama pants, and wrapped herself in her robe. She nornally would not bother with the robe but she wanted to be modest since this was her first time sharing living space with men. This was all so odd. She walked out to the living area. Bucky sat on the couch and Steve was setting plates on their small table.

"Eggs and bacon ok?" he asked. "We don't have a lot of groceries right now."

She chcukled, "Yes. How can I help?"

Bucky stood up, "By hopefully not using all my hot water." he said smiling and walking into the bathroom she had just left.

"Ignore him." said Steve cracking the eggs. Ella came alongside him.

"I can do that." she said smiling at Bucky as he looked back at her. "I can crack eggs if you need to start the bacon?" she said,

He looked at her, "Sure." as he passed the carton of eggs to her as he grabbed the bacon from the fridge.

She heard the water running in the bathroom so she felt safe to speak to Steve without him hearing. "What if I can't help him?" she asked.

Steve looked at her realizing her fear, "Ella, we're only asking you to try. There is no pressure or expectations. Our primary goal is to keep you safe. That's all."

She shook her head, "Ok." she said turning her back her back to him as she grabbed an egg. He gently placed his hands on her arms to turn her to look at him.

"Ella, there are no expectations." he said looking her in the eye. "We realize this is a hard situation for you so I hope you don'-t feel oressured to do something you aren't ready for." She thought it was a sweet gesture.

"Thanks." she said turning back to her task. "You know I do recognize you. You're Cap-" he cut her off.

"I was." he said with a deep sadness filling his eyes. "Sorry. It's just, that's not who I am anymore." .

"I recognize James too. He was a fugitive. " she said nervously. "Can I trust he won't hurt," she paused, "anyone?"

Steve looked at her, "There are safeguards in place. You saw for yourself how he protected you earlier."

She shook her head.

"Stark installed a fail-safe device in me. If you feel threatened, you just hit the switch and I recieve a shock to incapacitate me." said Bucky appearing from the bathroom door. Ella felt embarrassed. She hadn't meant for him to hear that.

"I'm sorry." she said.

"Is that your hesitance?" asked Bucky.

Ella looked at Steve then to Bucky, "Yes."

Bucky dropped his head looking disappointed. "Steve can give you the tech to carry. I can even shock myself if I feel it necessary." Ella saw the sadness in his eyes. It went beyond what she saw in Steve's. "If you don't believe it you can test it on me so you can feel safe."

"I'm not sure that's necesaary." she said.

"I want you to trust how safe you are around me." he said looking at her. Steve placed a watch on her wrist that automatically wrapped itself onto her arm.

"Press and hold the lower left corner." said Bucky. "We already programmed your fingerprint in the system." Ella looked at Steve. He nodded to her. Bucky braced himself. She looked at the device staring at it. She looked up at Bucky. His eyes cold and empty as he stood readied for the shock.

"No. No, you've been through enough. I trust you." she said feeling a wave of sadness for him hit her. "I need a minute." she said hurrying into the bedroom.

"Did I upset you?" asked Bucky standing in the doorway. "I have that effect." he attempted to joke. She looked up at him attempting a half smile. "No. I trust you." she said taking a deep breath.

"No you don't." he said as she looked at him in surprise. He walked over to the bed she sat on. "Can I sit?" he asked. She nodded yes. He took a seat next to her.

"I want to help you. I'm just not sure I can." she said wiping a small tear from her eye.

He took notice. "I'm only asking you to try. The fact that you aren't sure gives me hope. Frankly, anyone saying they can help me is not someone I want to deal with. You being honest and saying you aren't sure tells me you already have an understanding they don't."

She looked at him amazed. "Like I said," she smiled, "you sure know how to flatter a girl."

He chuckled and rested his hand on her back, "You make it easy." he said smiling back at her. "Now, an old fashioned girl like you shouldn't be sitting here on her bed with a strange man like this." he joked getting up and walking towards the kitchen. "It ain't proper." he called out teasing.

She smiled shaking her head as she got up. She walked into the kitchen.


	4. Chapter 4

"Dinner is served." said Steve setting down the eggs and bacon. He pulled the chair out for Ella.

"Thanks." she said taking a seat. They had just began to eat when Ella felt a panic. She dropped her fork. "We need to leave now." She said getting up and heading to their door.

"Wait? Why?" asked Steve as they both stood to follow.

"He's here. Rumlow is here with his troops and they are currently covering every entrance and exit. He is sending people to the roof now." She said. They both stood staring at her. "They're on the roof." She said.

"How-" she cut off Bucky.

"No time, we need to go now!" She said running to the window. "There's no way we can make the jump." She said looking out to the building across from them. Steve looked out the window as Bucky listened at the door. "Rumlow's coming for me. Just let me go."

"No!" growled Bukcy.

Steve took her arm, "Ella, no."

"I'm saying I can face him. I can't explain but I know every thought going through his head right now. I can counter him. I don't have time to direct you two." She said.

Steve looked at Bucky. She could tell they were not allowing it. Bucky looked back out the peephole in the door and signaled Steve. Ella already knew they were here. Steve pulled Ella into his bedroom and Bucky followed closing the door. He threw his body into the bedroom wall and crumbled around him. He grabbed Ella. Bucky following as Steve held Ella he jumped out the window to the fire escape on the next building Bucky landed next to them as shots began to ring out. They entered the window and ran through the building.

"He's sending men now into this building. If we get to the roof we can jump to the next building from the roof. The men are entering with Rumlow now." She said as they ran to the stairs and climbed as fast as they could. They entered onto the roof. The building next to them was further then Ella had hoped. "Well, I thought this would be easier." She said hesitating. This time it was Bucky who grabbed her and jumped twisting in mid-air to land on his back cushioning Ella's fall but maximizing his impact. Steve landed next to them and pulled Ella up off of him.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"Yeah, you just owe me one." He said smiling.

"We have to move. He is contacting air support. I am guessing five minutes till an armed chopper is overhead" she said. "What next?"

Without a word Steve grabbed Ella and ran jumping to the next building as Bucky followed.

"Please tell me that was the last roof jump." Said Ella.

They walked the streets of Brooklyn most of the night heading towards New York. Ella was exhausted which usually happened after engaging her abilities. They took notice.

"Maybe we can find a place to crash." Said Bucky tapping Steve's arm.

"I think I know a safe place." He said. You guys wait here. Steve disappeared behind the next building. Ella took the moment to sit down. Bucky sat next to her.

"You seem tired." he said.

"Yeah, my abilities do that to me." she said resting her head against the wall behind. "The downside they haven't quite perfected."

"Those abilities come in pretty handy." he watching for Steve.

"Yeah." she said.

"I thought Rumlow was dead." he said.

"Me too." she said looking out to the street. "It was nice to think so."

Steve reappeared. "Let's go." he said giving his hand to help Ella up. They all walked towards the street as a black car pulled up. Ella asn't sure about it but she didn't sense any threat.

* * *

Rumlow fumed. "We need a way to work around her abilities."

Kruetz, "We never found a way. The only way is to have someone who poses no threat and changes their mind only when it is too late for her to counter."

"Then we work on plan B." he said.

* * *

"You've got to be kidding me." Said Bucky as the car pulled into the parking area for the former Stark Tower.

"Bucky, it's our best bet right now. We can lay low here." Said Steve.

Ella took a deep breath. It had been ages since she had seen Tony. For her, it had not been long enough.-


	5. Chapter 5

They took the elevator. Steve could see the dread on Ella's face.

"You ok? You don't seem thrilled to see Tony." said Steve.

"Is that directed at me or her." said Bucky smiling at Steve.

Ella grinned and said, "Well, for me, no I don't think he will overly joyed to see me."

Steve and Bucky looked at her. "Why?" asked Steve.

"Let's just say I counseled Pepper before their separation, I think I can say that without breaking confidentiality. " she said staring at the increasing numbers. "Tony blamed me. He threatened to have my license revoked. That being our last interaction I am not planning on a warm reception."

"You might be surprised. He had nothing but good to say about you." said Steve.

"Oh I can't wait." she said sarcastically.

The elevator door slid open.

"Welcome!" greeted Tony. Ella let Steve and Bucky lead.

"We really appreciate this, Tony." said Steve shaking his hand. Tony nodded then looked at Bucky and Ella. "Please come in and have a seat." he said in a less enthusiastic tone.

Bucky gestured for Ella to go first. She adamantly shook her head no and gestured to him. He just smiled as she turned him and gave a gently push. Steve and Tony took a seat in the couch. Bucky and Ella sat across from them.

"We need to lay low until we can figure out a plan. Rumkow is alive and tracking Ella." said Steve.

"So that's the thug's name. You now him?" asked Tony.

"Yeah. He was part of Hydra within S.H.E.I.L.D." said Steve.

"So he's not a friend." said Tony.

"Not anymore." he replied.

Tony looked over at Bucky. "I still have nothing to say to you."

"Understood." said Bucky.

He turned his attention to Ella. "Then there's you." said Tony.

She swallowed hard bracing herself.

"I may have not treated you in the most fair way." he said.

She couldn't help but hide her surprise. "Well, thank you for that."

"I mean, you did ruin my relationship." he began. Ella rolled her eyes.

"I think you handled that fine all by yourself." she said calmly.

He fell silent for a moment. "So, looks like you guys need some clothes to start. Unless pajamas and robes are the new day wear?" he asked looking at Ella.

"Only when running for one's life with no time to dress for sucess." she quipped.

"I didn't reaize you had a sense of humor, MaCoy." said Tony.

Ella hates to be called by her last name.

"Well, if you guys will follow me I can show you where you can crash." he said. They all followed him down the long hallway.

"Your room, Ms. MaCoy." he motioned to the the door on his right.

"And for you gents." he said motioning to the door on his left.

"I put some clothes in your rooms for you. I hope they fit." Tony gave Stev mischevious look, "I remember how you like your shirts five sizes too small." he said smiling. Steve ignored him. Tony turned his attention to Ella, "Security is on high alert so you can rest easy." said Tony.

Ella nodded and headed into her room. The men stood in the hall talking. Ella shut the door craving some space. She was struck by the view. The room was huge and the walls before her were pure glass overlooking New York. It was breathtaking. She walked around the huge room. A large fireplace took up most of the other wall with a large TV above it. The wall opposite the fireplace entered into the bedroom. She walked through the doorway. The bedroom was another large room with a large bed. The bathroom held a large tub with jets. She was looking forward to a nice hot bath. Her shower earlier was a distant memory. As far up as they were on this building she hoped roof hopping did not come into play. She opened the closet and saw it full. She pulled out a top and looked at the size. It was her size. She looked through all the clothes. They were all her size.

"I hope you like them." she jumped at Tony's voice. "Sorry, I should've knocked."

"Yeah, I'm a little jumpy so knocking would be good." she said. "Thanks for your help. You know I always wished the best for you and Pepper."

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Oh, you were serious?"

She looked at him annoyed. "Yes, I was." she said walking past him. He grabbed her arm to stop her.

"I was an ass, ok, that is not an easy thing for me to admit. This is my small way to make amends for what I did. I want to forgive you."

"Forgiveness is more for you than me." she said. She walked into the hall. She needed to get away from Tony. Just as she shut the door to her room Steve opened the door to his room stepping into the hallway.

"Hey." he said.

"Hey, mind if I come in and check out your place?" she asked.

"Sure." he said as she walked past him. Before he shut the door Steve saw Tony exit her apartment. Tony nodded to Steve. Steve shut the door.

"Was he civil?" asked Steve as she sat on the plush couch in front of their fireplace. The layout was a mirror image of her room.

"In his own way." she said smiling. "I will try to make this work."

"I didn't know your background with him. He talked very highly of you." said Steve.

"It's not just Pepper. I was engaged to Tony's Godson. We were going to marry but that didn't work out." she said.

"Sorry." said Steve. "He blames you for that?"

"As they say, it's complicated." she said.

He could see an intense sadness fill her eyes.

"Ella, you don't have to tell me." he said sitting next to her on the couch.

"Good." she said standing up. "Did he leave my room?"

"Yes, but we need to talk." said Steve. "Let me get Bucky. " he said disappearing into a second bedroon area that she realized her room lacked. She sat back and laid her head back in the soft white couch. She soon drifted off.

《"Ella, I need you to meet me. Are you on your way?" asked Sam.

"Almost there." she said driving her car. She was hitting every red light.

"Well, my whole crew is here. Tony couldn't make it but sends his love." he said.

Ella rolled her eyes. "That's nice." she managed to get out. "I'm just turning the corner." she said as she saw the sea of cars. "Where should I park?"

"I left a space-" Sam's voice cut out as a loud explosion rocked the car. Ella saw the house before her engulfed in a large fireball. She stopped her car and got out. Debris fell all around her as a cloud of smoke chocked her lungs and blinded her vision. She felt an arm wrap around her mouth and another around her waist. She was thrown into a vehicle as she felt a sting in her arm. Her world went black.》

Ella jolted from her dream. Her nightmare. She was sweating and her breathing fast. As she caught her breath she became aware of Steve and Bucky standing in front of her.

"Ella, are you ok?" asked Steve. The two men took a seat on either side of her. She jumped up and backed away.

"I think I'm just exhausted. It's been a long, day, or whatever you would call this. I just need some air. From the hall. I'm not going outside of the building, I promise, I just need to ask Tony for some supplies. Those books." she said nervously as she tried to shake herself from the emotions of the dream. She hurried out their door to find Tony. She stopped halfway down the hall.

"Ella?" said Steve walking towards her. "I don't think you're ok." he said.

She just looked at him. "Safe to say this is not a time any of us are ok." she said hoping to derail to conversation.

"You know what I mean." he said. "We can't keep secrets. The three of us need to be on the same page."

"Steve." she caught herself and calmed her voice, "we can keep them if it is meant to help us." she said turning to leave. "I need to get the supplies if you want me helping James."

* * *

"Tony, I need to ask you for a few items." she said.

He looked at her surprised. "You need something from me?" he joked.

"Yes." she said forcing a smile she hoped he would see through.

"What?" he asked

"I need a list of books, paper, pens, a small laptop?" she asked.

"I can give you some tech to access any book needed." he said.

"I would really prefer a physical book." she said.

"They still sell those?" he smirked.

"If you look hard enough I think you might find a place." she said.

"Ok. I can do that, for you."he said motionig for her to habe a seat acroos from his chair. She found him in a room off of his living area. A study vacant except for a glass table and two chairs.

"Make me a list and I will look real hard." he said smiling at her. "Serious question now." he said leaning forward in his chair towards her. "How are you?"

She looked at him apprehensively. "I'm fine."

He gave her a look that said he wasn't buying it.

"You're safe here. You know that." he said.

She shook her head. "You know. You don't have to protect everyone. It's not your responsibility. I believe we went over this in your sessions." she said.

"Right, this coming from the person who just opts to not have any relationships so that the only casuality is herself." he said.

She glared at him, "Wow, Tony, why not tell me how you really feel."

"Sam would've wanted more for you." he said.

"Guess we'll never know." she said boiling on the inside. "I'm not discussing this because it's a moot point. Sam's dead. He doesn't get a say."

Tony looked at her in shock.

"I stay away from others because I don't need any other blood on my hands. I don't even know how this life will turn out because around ever corner is something or someone telling me it's not my own anymoe. I'll do my best for James and then I'm out. I can't live like this." she said nearing tears.

Tony moved to sit next her and took her hand. She abruptly pulled it from him. "No. Tony. I don't need you caring. Just get those supplies. I left a list over on your table when I came I ."

"Do they know how you feel?" he asked.

"No. I'll help James if I can and then you have to let me go." she said.

"No, I really don't have to." he said stubbornly as he stood before her.

She just shook her head and walked towards the hall.

"Still having those nightmares?" he called out. "You care. You can't shut a heart like your off."

She knew she should not have come here.


	6. Chapter 6

"We've lost them." said Rumlow to Kreutz. "Is there any way you can track her?"

"Track her? No." said Kreutz.

Rumlow sighed in frustration. "So you had no plan to track your experiments?"

"The plan was to never lose track of them in the first place. The Winter Soldier had let her escaped. Rumor was that he had, in a sense, rescued her. After her disappearanced his mind was wiped. He was never interrogated." said Kreutz.

"The Winter Soldier recsued her? Helped her escape? So Ella MaCoy and James Barnes know each other?" questioned Rumlow.

"No. Not in the sense you are thinking of." he said.

"Then explain it to me, please." said Rumlow.

"They were both in this facility at the same time. She was engineered to correct a problem like the Winter Soldier." said Kreutz.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"You cannot create super soldier assassins without a contigent plan." said Kreutz.

"So that's what she is? How?" he asked.

"You don't even know who your after, do you?" he said.

"Enlighten me." said Rumlow. "I know you toyed with her mind so she senses threat."

"Yes, you are partially right. She also has the ability that when the threat attacks, physically, she mimics their strength." he said.

"So she can hold her own? How does that defeat a super soldier?" he asked.

"Because she also tunes into their mind and knows their thoughts as they think them. If they mean harm to her or anyone she is near, she knows and not only anticpates, but counters their move before they make it." said Kreutz. "The Winter Soldier was used in testing her abilities. The have no concious memories of one another."

"But if he helped her escape?" said Rumlow.

"That has never been confirmed." said Kreutz.

"So if we can flip the switch on Barnes, will it even do any good?" asked Rumlow."She's with Barnes and Roger."

"That poses a unique probelm which we may be able to use to our advantage. First, you need to find them." said Kreutz.

"We will." said Rumkow.

* * *

She walked back to her room and stumbled in dropping on the couch. She was angry, frustrated, and hurt. She had not expected this place to affect her in the way it did. She was exhausted. Just as she laid her head down she heard commotion across the hall. She listened and when it sounded like it was not calming down she got up and walked to their door. She knocked.

"Steve? James?" she called out. The noises were growing. She turned the knob and carefully went in. The noise was from Bucky's room. She walked in to see Steve next to Bucky itting on his bed. He looked shaken and scared.

"What's going on?" she asked.

Steve turned to see her. "He's had a nightmare."

Bucky stared coldly at the floor.

"James." she said. He flinched and looked angrier.

"Bucky, call him Bucky." said Steve in a warning tone.

"Bucky." his gaze softened as he looked towards her. He suddenly jumped up gritting his.

"Buck, it's, Steve." he said trying to calm him.

Ella sensed the threat, "Steve!" she called out but it was too late. Without warning Bucky punched him sending him into the adjacent wall. Ella watched in terror. Bucky turned towards her.

She backed away as he came towards her, "Bucky, don't make me do it." she warned. He lurched towards her and grabbed her by the throat. She felt the breath leaving her. As soon as she felt she may pass out she felt the surge. She tightened her neck muscles and took a deep breath. She brought her leg up and kicked againat Bucky as hard as she could and sent him flying across the room. He picked himself up. She could see the empty stare and anger. She knew his next move and was ready. He took one step towards her and then fell to the ground in what looked like convulsing.

She looked over at Steve. "You shocked him?" she said.

"I had no choice." said Steve.

"I had him!" she said angrily. Steve looked at her narrowing his eyes.

"How?" he asked.

"She ignored his question. "Doesn't it bother you? To shock him?"

"It would bother me more if I didn't." he said as he walked to Bucky and lifted him placing him to rest in his bead. "He will be fine in about a half hour."

"So this happens often?" she asked.

"Unfortunately, yes." he said returning to her. He could see she was shaken. "Hey, it's ok." he said placing a comforting arm around her as she stared at Bucky. He looked so lifeless. There was something familiar about it. She pushed the feeling aside.

"No, it' not." she said. "How often is this happening? His body can only take so much."

"Bucky's strong." he said looking at her curiously. "You never answered ny question. How did you do that? I'm glad you're ok but that makes no sense?"

"I pushed him off of me." she said.

"No, you kicked him across the room. The same thing he did to me." he said. "Ella, I think there is more to the experiments than your mind."

"Maybe?" she said.

"Ella, no secrets, please." said Steve pleading.

Ella dropped her head. "I'll help Bucky. I promise."

"That's not what I'm taling about. Let us help you." he said standing in front of her to look her straight in the eye and block her view of Bucky.

"You have and I'm very grateful." she said. His eyes would not let her go. His stare beating down on her. "Listen, I don't know what they have done to me. All I know is when I sense the threat and I dial into their thoughts, if the attacker lays hands on me within seconds I get this surge." she paused then continued, "It's like I take on their strength?" she said suddenly feeling exhausted. Steve took notice.

"Why don't we sit down." said Steve guidung her to the living area couch. "How long has this been going on?"

"I don't know. You're typical New York mugger is pretty weak. So Bucky has the same strength as you?" she asked. Steve shook his head yes. "Look, I didn't want anyone to know. If they know then they'll be after me." she said.

"They already are." he said.

She looked at him irritated, "I'm quite aware. But I'm bringing them to him too." she said motioning to Bucky's bedroom.

"We can handle ourselves." he said.

"That was not handling." she said.

"It's better than cryofreezing." said Steve. "I don't like it anymore than you. When Tony first came up with this I couldn't being myself to do it. Bucky did it to himself. He hasn't stopped blaming himself for what they made him do. He remembers it all."

"What did they do?" she asked.

"They made him an assasin. They programmed his mind to follow whatever order given. He killed because they programmed him to. He remembers every killing. The process somehow killed or damaged all his other memories. That's what he is fightig to get back." said Steve.

Ella shook her head. She couldn't imagine what had been done to him or what they made him do. "I'll do my best for him."

"That's all we're asking." he said.

"And what about you? You're so busy making sure everyone's ok. Are you?" she asked.

He just smiled, "Ella."

"Steve, I'm serious." she said.

"Bucky's the focus." he said.

"I get that, but so are you? I have to make sure my bodyguards are ok." she said.

"I hope we're more than bodyguards." he said.

She looked at him curiously.

"Friends?" he said.

She smiled, "Preliminary friends."

"I'll take what I can get." he said smiling.

There was a knock at the door. Steve answered it. It was Tony.

"You guys ok?" he asked walking in.

"Yeah, we're fine." said Steve.

Ella shot Steve a look hoping he would know to keep quiet about their discussion. He nodded.

"Bucky's sleeping it off." said Steve.

"What set him off?" asked Tony.

"A nightmare? A memory?" he said unsure.

Tony looked at Ella, "This is why you can't be shy about hitting that button." he scolded. Ella shook her head. She was in no mood for arguing.

Ella just watched the discussion. As the two continued to talk she went unnoticed into Bucky's room. She took a chair next to his bed. She watched his chest rise and fall. She was glad to see it. He looked at peace. She almost found him unrecognizable. She could still hear the two talking. At least it seemed friendly. She turned her head to the doorway to see the two.

"Hey." came a voice as she felt a hand on her wrist. It sent a panic through her. She jumped up knocking the chair over and tugging her wrist away. Steve and Tony heard the noise and ran in. Ella saw Bucky sit up and lean against the head board.

"I didn't mean to scare you." said Bucky weakly.

Steve wrapped a reassuring arm around her. "You ok?"

She nodded her head, "You've exceeded your quota for asking that." she tried to joke.

Tony stood on the other side of her just slightly in front of her with his hand on his wrist. Ella reached over to coax his hand from the switch. Tony looked at her and complied.

Bucky looked at her with sadness, "Your neck. Did I do that?" he asked.

"Bucky,-" Steve started and Tony interrupted.

"My guess is yes." said Tony smuggly.

"Bucky, I'm fine. Are you ok?" she asked staying close to Steve. She felt bad but was hesitant to get too close. She could tell he noticed.

"Do you sense a threat from me?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No, Bucky."

He looked at her cocking his head to the side, "You called me Bucky?"

"Yes, the other named seemed to upset you." she said.

"Upset?" he said looking near tears knowing the term upset did not even begin to cover it. "I'm sorry. I would never hurt you, but I did."

"Bucky, what happened." she paused, "it gives me a good starting point to work with you."

"Well, I should go." said Tony clearly stiffling his anger and disgust as he walked to the living area.

"Tony, wait." called out Steve. He looked at Ella to see if she was ok if he stepped out. She nodded. Steve went out to catch Tony. Ella heard them start talking again. She walked over and picked up the chair to sit down by his bedside.

"Did you shock me?" he asked.

"No, Steve did." she said hoping she didn't get him in trouble.

"Good man." he said groaning and he sat up further.

"Bucky, you can't live this way." she argued.

"I tried to strangle you, didn't I?" he asked.

Ella looked at him silent.

"Ella, he didn't shock me for no reason. He did it for a good reason," he said.

She looked down avoiding his eyes. "I handled it." she paused.

"You mean you handled me." he corrected.

"That was not you." she countered.

He looked at her. "Steve keeps telling me the same thing. That it's not me, but it is. How can I forgive myself when they are my actions?"

For once she saw the true pain in his eyes. The true depth of his guilt. "We'll work on that. This isn't how you were born. Do you believe you're the type of person to strangle me?"

He looked at her neck. His eyes welling tears. "It doesn't matter. I did it."

"Bucky, I don't believe you want to hurt me." she said leaning towards him.

He gave a slight smile, "So has the session began, doc?"

She smiled back at him, "I'm not a doctor. Just a psychologist who moonlights as a counselor." she said. "And you're avoiding the question." she said returning him to task.

"I don't want to hurt you." he said as a tear escaped his eye and fell down his cheek. His voice cold and void of emotion. "I just can't trust myself."

"Fine. Then trust me." she said. "Trust, Steve." she said taking his hand which she swore was trembling slightly. "We're going to work on this. I'm not giving up and you know Steve isn't going aywhere. I can handle you." she said hoping for a smile. He didn't disappoint.

"Well now I'm blushing." he said teasing.

"Well don't flater yourself." she said. "Remeber the flattering is one way." she said pointing to herself. "It flows this way." she chuckled.

Bucky gave her a big smile squeezing her hand. Thanks." he said in a serious tone.

"Thank you for not giving up." she said standing as he kept hold of her hand.

She took her other hand on top of his that held hers. "I should let you get dressed. I don't know about you but I am ready to burm my pajamas and robe."

He got up slowly out of the bed still holding her hand. She was ok with it yet a bit uncomfortable. He stepped towards her and gently kissed her cheek. "Thank you." he said stepping back and releasing her hand.

"You're welcome." she said. "Now find something descent to wear. This is the last time I allow pajama pants in a session." she joked as she walked into the living area. Thanfully Steve was not there so he wouldn't see her flushed cheeks. Why had Bucky kissed her cheek? She was being so careful to not get attached. She brushed it off. She had one mission right now. A shower and long sleep


	7. Chapter 7

"Did she remember the night she was kidnapped?" asked Rumlow.

"No." said Kruetz.

"So she doesn't remember it was him." he said.

"No. Not yet." he said.

* * *

Ella slept nightmare free for 10 hours. She was awoken by Steve.

"Ella?" he said "Ella."

She stirred and groggily opened her eyes. "Can I bring you some lunch?" he asked.

"No." she answered then shot up from her bed and grabbed his arm. "You haven't told anyone about our discussion did you? Did Bucky ask?"

"Woah, calm down. No, we have all just been resting. Why don't you want him to know?" asked Steve putting his hand on hers that held his arm. "He should know what happened. It will make him feel better to know you can handle him."

"I told him that much. I mean, that I can handle him. Just not the details." she said rubbing her eyes "Not yet." she said yawning. "Excuse me." she said feeling slightly embarrassed. He just smiled at her. She realized she had showered and dressed and then passed out from exhaustion in the bed.

"So lunch?" he asked.

"Oh yeah, that's why you're here." she said teasing him.

He just shook his head and extended a hand to help her up. She took it. "Tony said to meet him down the hall. Bucky's meeting us there."

"Wait, Steve?" she said hesitantly.

"Yeah?" he said.

"Has Bucky been ok since the," she paused, "thing?"

"Yeah, he's ok. He's been talking a lot about you. He has confidence in you helping him." he said.

She just shook her head. They made their way to the room. There was an array of sandwiches, soups, salads, desserts, and drinks.

"This all for us?" she asked. She saw Bucky enter from another door on the opposite side of the room from them. He saw them and walked to them.

"What's all this?" he asked.

From the same doorway Bucky walked through came Tony. He rushed towards the three and without a word led then hurridely back out into the hallway. "Get to your rooms now!"

They all looked at him confused. Ella sensed no threat. Steve and Bucky looked at her. She shook her head to let them know she sensed nothing.

"I don't have time to explain now. Some gentlemen from the State Department want to talk about a mission." he said sheeplishly.

Steve grabbed Ella's hand. Tony didn't notice but Bucky did. "We'll get out of your way." The three hurried back to their rooms. Ella looked back at Tony. He looked at her and motioned to his wrist. He wanted to remind her to use it. He didn't seem to trust Bucky very much.

"Ella, why don't you hang out with us." said Steve still holding her hand. She saw Bucky looking at their hands. "Ok." she said as he released her hand as he opened their door. Steve went in first, then Ella, and then Bucky.

"What do you think that is about?" she asked.

"My thoughts exactly." said Bucky looking slightly irritated. She questioned if they were talking about the same thing.

"I don' know. Tony signed the Accord. It most likely has to do with that." he said sitting on the couch. Ella sat on the couch opposite him while Bucky took a seat by her.

"So what now?" asked Bucky looking at her. His eyes seemed to suggest he was directing the question to her. Ella was unsure if he meant with the current situation, counseling, or something else. She was beginning to fear the kiss on her cheek was creating what she had hoped it would not.

"I'm not sure." she stammered as she looked in his eyes. She turned to look at Steve seemed to be picking up on her uncertainty. "Steve?"

"We lay low and wait." he said getting up and walking to the kitchen that was open to the room. As he did Bucky took her hand. She looked at him and his face softened. She was beginning to feel uncomfortable. She stood up removing her hand from his.

"I have some chicken in my refrigerator. We can at least eat lunch until we know what's up. I'll bring it and some salad." she said, "Least I can do to fix you lunch."

She walked across the hall. As she entered her room she became aware Bucky followed.

"I can handle getting the food." she said.

"I'm sorry about all that." he started.

"So it wasn't my imagination you were getting territorial about Steve taking my hand?" she said to him. "Is this because you kissed me on the cheek?" she sighed, "Bucky, we need to focus on getting your mind back before you even add thinking about a relationship." she said. "You think I followed you two because of your muscular physiques and cute smiles? I followed you two because you needed my help and maybe, just maybe, I needed yours." she scolded. "So let's not get ahead of ourselves and cause unneeded awkward moments." she said ended her tyraid.

He looked at her and said, "So you think I have a cute smile?"

She looked at him sternly and said, "We're you even listening?"

"Yes, I'm sorry. I meant to come here and tell you that I probably should not have kissed you on the cheek. You're right. I need to get better before I kiss you again." he said with a smirk.

She threw the bag of salad at him and grabbed the chicken. He chuckled as he could see he threw her off guard. He thought it was cute and encouraging. She headed to the door without a word. He worried he had upset her.

"Wait, Ella." he said gently grabbing her arm. "I know the priority is to get my memory back and try to undo whatever they did. I want that. That's priority. You're not safe with me until then. No matter how I feel. That is reality."

She sighed, "Bucky, I'm safe with you."

He narrowed his eyes ready to disagree but she stopped him. "No."

"Bucky, listen. When you had your nightmare and attacked us. You went after Steve and then me." she said. "When you strangled me Steve didn't shock you, I actually kicked you across the room. You got up to come at me again and I knew how to counter you. That's when Steve shocked you."

He looked at her confused.

"My abilities are more than sensing a threat. I dial in to the attackers thoughts and then their abilities. So I am able to hold my own if you were to have a glitch. I'm safe wih you. Steve took my hand because he thought it would give me strength in case there was a threat, but it doesn't work that way. It's only when defending myself."

He looked at her, "That's how you drop guys twice your size."

"Yeah." she said. "I didn't want you or Steve to know for your safety. Guess it doesn't matter now. Rumlow knows. He was part of it."

"I will do everything to protect you." he said. "Steve too." he added.

She softened her scowl. "The priority is the get back what they took from you." she said smiling. "Youwork with me and we do that and maybe I let you buy me a drink." she said continuing out the door and back to their room.

"Deal." said Bucky as they walked into the room,

"Deal?" asked Steve.

Ella looked at Bucky.

"A promise to Ella to behave myself." he said.

"I thought that was an understood." he said grabbing plates.

"I'm sure it is." she said setting out the chicken.

They ate their lunch and waited to hear from Tony.

* * *

An hour passed and no word from Tony.

"Bucky, how about we talk about where to start?" she said.

"Ok." he said.

"Steve, would you excuse us?" he asked.

He nodded.

"Bucky, let's use your room." she said as he walked in. She went across the hall and grabbed her notebook Tony had supplied and a pen. When she came back into the apartment Steve stopped her, "Ella, if you need to use it," he said gesturing to the tech on her wrist, "use it. I'll be right here."

"Thanks." she said smiling at him. "Could you put some music on for privacy? I think it would be best for confidentiality and to get him to open up without fearing he's being heard."

"Sure." he said. "You're sure you're up for this?"

"No." she said honestly, "but I'm sure that time would ever come."

He chuckled slightly as she walked into his room. She shut the door behind her.

"Where should I sit?" he asked. She took note he seemed nervous. She heard Steve playing some music. A familiar tune she remebered hearing at an old diner.

"Wherever you are most comfortable."she said. "You can lay on the bed if that makes you comfortable?"

He shook his head and propped some pillows up and sat up against the headboard. She took a seat next to his bed in a chair from the desk.

"Ok, well, is there anything you want to start with?" she asked.

"Well, is there a way to erase the memory of everything they made me do?" he said.

"No, Bucky." she said.

"But they took all the good stuff, ya know? The memories of my parents, my family, Steve? They're all fragments. But every," he paused, "killing they made me do. I remember." he said looking at her with tears in his eyes. "Every detail." he said clealry angry.

"Are you angry about that? Sad?" she asked.

He was looking down avoiding her gaze. "Very angry."

"You deserve to be angry. What they did to you isn't right. Do you want to work with the anger or try to focus on the happy memories?" she asked.

"Fragments," he said, "there are no memories." he said looking up at her. "I think if you help me. If you hear what I've done you will never want to come near me again."

"Bucky, don't." she said. "Don't speak for me. If I wanted to stay away I wouldn't be here with you."

Bucky gave a slight smile.

"So tell me about your parents?" she asked.

He looked at her at a loss for words.

"What is your earliest memory?" she asked.

He looked down again. He seemed upset.

"Bucky, we don't have to do this." she said.

His head snapped up, "No. I want to. I have to."

"Ok, I think we need to go slow." she said. "And maybe even a type of relaxation? Hypnosis?" she suggested.

He seemed irritated.

"Maybe I can't be helped." he said. "I'm not sure there's enough of me left?" he dropped his head into his hands and quietly sobbed. She got up from her chair and sat next to him on the bed. She put her arm around him and pulled him into her chest and held him tight. She could tell he was restraining his sadness but at leaat he was allowing himself to cry. She held him for awhile until he slowly lifted his head. She just held his gaze. He looked so helpless, scared, and fragile. She'd never seen him in this light. She pushed the hair away from his face as he sat up next to her.

"So am I the most hopeless client you've had?" he asked.

"No. Just the opposite." she said smiling at him.

They both sat on the bed with their hands in their laps. She reached over and took his hand.

"We take it as slow as you need. We work on the memory fragments. If you only remember the fragment then we stick with that. We bring those to the forefront of your mind, not the killings." she said playing with his hand.

"Ok." he said. She turned to look at him. "Thank you. I don't think I could do this without you." he said studying her face. "I feel comfotable with you. You put me at ease."

"You're a good man and you think they took that from you, but they didn't. They can't." she said. She got off the bed and headed for the door.

"Ella." he said standing and walking to her. "I plan on buying you a drink real soon."

She smiled, "Me too." and walked from the room.

As she walked into the living area Steve stood up. "Ella?"

She continued walking out the door and to her room. Steve followed her.

"Ella, are you ok?" he asked.

She couldn't speak but just sat on the couch. She didn't feel like talking. He sat next to her and put his arm around her. "Ella, are you ok?"

She shook her head yes.

"Ella." he urged.

"Steve. I'm fine. I just need some time." she said. She desperatley needed to change the subject. "Actually, I have to ask a favor and I want you to hear it out before you say no." she said. "There's a bookstore just around the corner and I put in an online order to hold the books I need. All I have to do it take the cash and get the books."

Steve hung his head and sighed. "This will be quick." said Steve obviously not happy wih the plan. They went back to Steve and Bucky's room. They each put on caps to keep their face as hidden as possible. As they walked out the door Steve placed a cap on Ella's head.

"No." she said trying to remove it.

"Yes." he said keeping it in her head.

"A hat is not a disguise. It draws attention." she argued. He just looked at her.

"Humor me." said Steve.

She looked to Bucky who nodded agreement with Steve. She dropped her hands leaving the hat in place. Bucky just looked at her and smiled. He mouthed the word, "cute" to her. She ignored him.

They made their way quickly through the back alley to the bookstore. Steve and Bucky hung back as she approached the cashier. "Hi. I am here to pick up an order for Pepper Potts." she said. The lady wet to the back to gather the order.

Steve watched as a lady approached Ella. Bucky and Steve moved closer to her.

"Ella?" she said. Ella turned to see a blonde young woman next to her.

"I'm sorry. Who are you?" she asked.

"Ada Stevens. I am a cousin of Sam's." she said.

Steve and Bucky saw Ella's face go white. Steve nodded to Bucky as he started towards Ella.

Ella searched for words, "Oh, have we met?" she asked feeling sick.

"No. I was hoping I would run into you one day. What's it been? Five years now?" said Ada. "I was just arriving at the house when the explosion occured. I'm so sorry. I know he loved you very much." she said. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

The lady returned from behind the counter. Ella gave her the money in exchange for the books. "Uh, sure." she said following her to a small table. She felt in a daze as she followed him.

"Excuse me, honey." said Steve approaching.

She looked at Steve still in her daze. She saw Bucky in the corner watchig her intensely.

"Honey, are you ok?" asked Steve taking her arm. Ada turned and looked at the two.

"Uh, yeah, just give me a minute. " she said. He leaned in to look as though he was kissing her cheek and whispered, "you sure?" he pulled back to check her expression.

"Just a few minutes." she said smiling.

Steve smiled at Ada and stepped a few feet away to look at a magazine. "It's good to see you've moved on."

The two took a seat at a small table. "That day. The explosion. I saw you taken." she whispered leaning in. "A man in a mask with a silver arm. He grabbed you and threw you into a van. I tried to tell police but they didn't believe me. I just thought you should know. I knew you wouldn't have left or had any part in it."

Ella was finding it hard to breathe. She needed to fake it until she could get out of there. She had to pretend she was ok. Steve felt the woman was upseting Ella. He decided to interupt.

"Honey, we better get back or we will be late for our reservation." she looked up to see Steve standing by the table. "Hi." he said to Ada. "I don't mean to interrupt. "

Ada smiled, "Oh, no problem. We are done. Here is my number is you ever want to meet up for coffee to talk."

"Thanks." said Ella weakly.

Ada left and Steve took her seat. "Ella, we need to go." he said as she stared off into space.

"Yeah." she said slowly standing. Bucky went out ahead to make sure it was clear as Steve put his arm around Ella and carried the books in the other hand.

"You're not ok." he said as they exited and met Bucky.

"Who was she?" asked Steve.

"I'm not sure." she asked.


	8. Chapter 8

***************Let me reiterate: SPOILERS, if you haven't seen Civil War, please don't read this, or go see the movie, then come back and read it. But let's be real, if you haven't seen it...are you really spending your time wisely? ************************************************************

* * *

She got back to her room but Steve and Bucky refused to let her be alone. They both knew something had bothered her deeply about what the woman told her.

"Alone is what I need right now, please." she said sitting on the large couch in her room.

"Ella, I have not seen you that shaken by anything." said Steve.

"Ella, please." said Bucky.

"When she was talking to you, you looked as though you'd seen a ghost." said Steve.

"In a sense." Ella said. "She was a cousin of my fiance who died 10 years ago when I was taken for the experiments."

"I'm sorry." said Steve.

"I don't know why they chose me? Why they had to kill him? His whole family had gathered that day." she said looking up at them with tears welling in her eyes. "His entire family gathered at the house we had just bought to move into after we got married."

"What happened?" asked Steve.

"I had just arrived at the house. I was talking to Sam about where I should park," she said as she wiped a tear from her cheek She spoke with no emotion as though reading a script. "As soon as I pulled onto the street and had the house in my sight it exploded. Sam was in mid-sentence. The entire house gone." she said dropping her head in her hands. "I got out of the car. Smoke was everywhere. They killed everyone." she stiffled tears. " That's when he grabbed me. The man. I remember vaguely as I passed out that he wore a mask." she said lifting her head. "And just as Ada said, he had a silver arm? It was cold like metal?" she said wih a tone of disbelief. "I know they drugged me so I always passed it off as the effects of whatever they gave me."

Ella got up to grab a tissue from the kitchen bar top. Steve looked at Bucky. Ella didn't realize it was him. He no longer had his metal arm. Tony had begrudgingly replaced it a few years after their battle once he had talked with Steve and patched things up. The arm housed the fail safe for Bucky. It was the only way Tony would agree to replace his arm. That way if Steve insisted on having Bucky removed from cryo-sleep Tony knew he could be subdued.

Steve nodded to Bucky. He knew they needed to tell her. Bucky knew this could be it and he could lose her. He was the reason she was taken. He handed her over to them. He didn't remember it, but he knew there was a familiarity he had with Ella.

"I don't know who Ada is? Part of me is suspicious of her tie to Sam." she said turning to face the guys. As she did she found herself face to face with Bucky. She saw the look in his eyes. The sadness and guilt. "Bucky, are you ok?" she asked.

"No." he said.

Ella looked past him to Steve.

"Bucky." said Steve. "Can I talk to you?"

Ella was confused. "Guys, what's going on?"

Before they could answer Tony barged in.

"Oh good, you're all here. Well, I thought I would fill you in on some classified info from the State Department goons that just left." he said. Ella looked at Bucky and walked past him to sit on the couch. Steve stood next to her. Bucky stayed at the counter with his back to Tony. He was still trying to process what Ella had just shared. He wasn't really in the mood for Tony.

Tony ignored Bucky and focused on Ella and Steve. "The State Depaertment has listed Ella MaCoy as a person of interest. They are looking to bring you in for a few questions." warned Tony. "Also they have reopened the case on James Barnes. Congratulations, you've made the wanted list." he paused. "Again." he said glaring at Bucky who kept his back to him. Tony then turned to Steve. "And your slate has been wiped clean. "

Steve stared at Tony. "Why?"

"Because, if you have a clean slate then you're easy to track." said Ella. "They already know we're together."

"So they find me, they find you two." said Steve.

"Makes sense." said Tony. "Look, you can't stay here. They'll be in and out of here while this mission is going on."

"Mission?" asked Ella.

"My mission is to bring you two in." said Tony. "While I would love to turn over Mr. Barnes that would mean taking away one of your protectors. And the State Department is not forthcoming regarding why they need you or Barnes."

"We're going to need to split up. We can throw them off." said Steve.

"Steve, can I talk to you, alone?" asked Tony. The two walked to the bedroom and shut the door.

Bucky stood silently at the bar.

"We'll figure this out." she said walking over to stand next to him.

He gave a half smile, "I've been on the run before. I'm not looking forward to it."

"Look, Steve and Tony will help us. We need to find a place to lay low and work on getting your memory back." she said.

"It might be best if we split up?" he said staring at the counter.

"Yes, Steve agrees." she said.

"No, you and me." he said.

"Why would you say that?" she said looking at him. She could tell he was avoiding her. "Bucky, what is going on?"

"You're safer with Steve." he said getting up to move away from her.

"What are you doing?" she asked watching him walk to his room. She followed. She stood in the doorway as he threw items into a bag.

"Bucky, what's that for?" she asked feeling she already knew the answer.

He said nothing as he zipped the bag and walked to face her in the doorway.

"Ella, move." he said. She stayed where she was. He was not looking at her.

"No." she said stubbornly.

He looked her in the eye. She saw the struggle. She knew he was acting out of fear.

"If you leave, I'm going with you." she said.

"No, you're not." he said sternly.

He walked closer to her. "Ella, please." he said as she saw his tough exterior begin crumble.

She moved to let him through. He walked towards the door and she followed. He said nothing as he climbed in the elevator and hit the button for the ground floor. She stood watching him. Just as the doors began to close she ran into the elevator.

"What are you doing?" he asked irritated.

"I told you I'd follow." she said staring ahead.

"You can't go with me." he said.

"And you can't go without me. So you have two choices" she said. "You can send this elevator back up and talk with Steve and Tony about how to handle this or you take me on the run with you to make sure you stay safe."

"You're delusional." he said.

"I've been called worse." she said.

He shook his head as the door opened. He took a step to the door that opened to the back alley. "You need to get back upstairs." he said gently pushing her back into the elevator and hitting the top floor button. She stood watching him. Just as he opened the door to the alley she hit the open door button and jumped out of the elevator to follow him.

"Bucky!" she called out as she hurried into the alley. She ran into his back as he was stopped right in front of the door. He grabbed her reaching his left hand behind his back and held her close to shield her.

"Let her go." he said to the men pointing guns at him. There were at least fifteen by Ella's quick count.

"We weren't expect her. Quite the bonus." said the man in front of Bucky with the gun.

"I'm Agent Talmer. You are both wanted by the State Department. Agent Kreutz will read you your rights. As of now you are both in our custody until we decide otherwise."

"If you fail to comply, your friends will suffer." said Agnet Kreutz as they showed them a small screen with Steve and Tony still talking in the room. Ella came alongside of Bucky. He grabbed her hand and she squeezed back holding it tightly.

"We know of your ability Ms. MaCoy, if you use it, you will find it can have lethal consequences." said Kreutz. "You step out of line, either of you, and your friends die in a horrible gas leak at the former Stark Tower." he looked directly at Ella. "I think you understand how that works, right?" he said referring to her fiances accident. Ella said nothing. She gritted her teeth seething at the agent's insensitivity. She felt Bucky squueze her hand. "And Seargent Barnes, we have tapped into your fail safe so should you try to be the chivalrous hero you will be subdued which will put your friend at great risk." he smirked. "Now, I believe we have your attention."


	9. Chapter 9

Bucky and Ella were driven to a location and put on a long flight. Ella and Bucky sat next to one another blindfolded and under heavy guard. He kept her hand in his. He would still protect her at all cost. They arrived at a facility and their blindfolds removed. Ella's best guess is they were in another country. Once in the facility they were led to a room. They were left alone. She heard the clank of several locks. A monitor showed a feed of Steve and Tony. At this point it was clear they knew Bucky and Ella were gone.

Bucky looked at Ella. Her hair was mussed by the blindfold. Her eyes red. Her mascara smudged under her eyes. She was studying the room. She looked at him. He walked to her.

"Are you ok?" he whispered.

"No." she said as he saw the anger in her eyes.

"We'll get out of here." he said.

"I'm planning on it."she said, "one way or another."

"My plan is alive and together." he said.

"We can go with your plan first." she said looking at him. She saw the determination in his eyes.

"These are the men that killed Sam. They have to be." she said. "They are not from the State Department."

He looked at the huge door. He turned and leaned in to whisper in her ear, "If they turn me against you, you kill me and kill everyone in here. Do whatever you have to, to get out." he said stepping back.

She said nothing but just shook her head in disagreement. "No."

They heard the click of the locks. Bucky stepped in front of her as the huge door opened. She grabbed his arm to ready herself for whatever she needed to do.

Five men entered. The Agent Kreutz came to face them. "James, you are needed."

"No." she said stepping between Kreutz and Bucky.

Bucky grabbed her arm to pull her away.

"No worries. You're coming too." he said as the man next to him stepped forward towards her she grabbed his hand and twisted. A loud crack echoed as the man screamed. A needle fell from his hand to the floor.

"No need to drug me. I'll come willingly." she said.

Three men grabbed Bucky pointing a gun at his head. "You can't stop a bullet to his brain." said Kreutz. She said nothing as she follwed the men who marched Bucky down a long hall. The place was dark and musty. She guessed perhaps they were underground. They walked in to a room with a chair surrounded by computer screens.

"Here." said the man motioning to Bucky. He hesitated. She could see he knew what was going to happen. The man behind him pushed at him. She saw the fear and helplessness in his eyes. Her heart broke as they dragged him to the chair. She locked eyes with Bucky.

"You, Miss MaCoy, assisted us in his reprogramming. Would you care to do the honors?" asked Kreutz as they strapped Bucky down. His face cold and void of emotion.

He looked at Kretz confused by his statement. "There is no honor in torturing a man for your sick plan." she said and kicked Kreutz into one of the machines. The other four men swarmed her as Bucky struggled against the restraints. She easily countered the four men and tossed them to the ground. A shot rang out in the room as Ella fell.

"No!" screamed Bucky still restrained.

Kreutz walked to her. "Your abilities have a range, my dear. The shooter was positioned just out of your range for safe keeping." he said as Rumkow entered the room.

"Just like old times." said Rumlow.

Ella looked at her wound in her side. The bullet made a clean exit. She applied pressure.

"Too bad none of the men you were fighting were super soldiers. You could use some faster healing capabilities right now." said Kreutz. "Perhaps that is just the motivation James needs right now to comply."

Bucky looked at Ella. His anger apparent.

"Will you cooperate, James?" asked Kreutz.

Bucky watched as Rumlow made his way to Ella and pulled her up. She moaned as the pain of the movement nearly made her pass out. "You're lucky we didn't pull the trigger on Rogers and Stark after that stunt." he said dragging her across the room and tossing her at Kreutz.

"Your punishment for escape is to flip this lever to begin the process for James." he said.

"No," she said weakly.

Rumlow wrapped his arm around her and squeezed the bleeding wound. "You might want to reconsider."

"I'll kill you!" screamed Bucky writhing in the chair.

Ella looked at him. He could see her weak from the wound. He knew he had to do this to save her. "Ella, do it. Please." he begged.

Rumlow took her hand forcing her to pull the lever. He released her dropping her to the floor. She began to drift off. She heard Bucky's screams as her world went black.

* * *

"Tony?" said Steve following as Tony rushed to his office. He hit a sequence on his deskop bringing up an image floating in front of them,

"Locate Barnes and MaCoy." he said.

Steve watched silently. The image of Ella and Bucky in the alley with Talmer and Kreutz played before them.

Tony sighed.

"Who are they?" asked Steve.

"The men from the State Department." he said.

"What now? How do we find them?" he asked.

Tony's phone signaled. He looked at it and then to Steve. "We don't."

"Those two were not from the State Department." said Tony slamming his fist on the desk. "They already knew you guys were here."

Steve sat across from Tony. " You must have access to some tech to track them down."

"We can try to put a tracer out for the fail safe I installed." he said.

"You can't suit up without auhorization." said Steve.

"What they don't know can't hurt them." said Tony.

"I don't want to get you in trouble." he said.

"I did that when I signed." he said looking at Steve. Steve smiled. For Tony, that was as close to an apology as he was going to get. "This Hydra reincarnation stuff needs stopped, for good. If somene in the government here disagrees then I think we've found how far the cancer has spread."

"I'm willing to do whatever it takes. This ends with Bucky and Ella." said Steve.

"It will." said Tony.

* * *

"Ella woke up in a cell. Bucky stood by the cell door.

"Bucky?" she said squinting to see him more clealry. He didn't move. She saw he had on a mask and metal arm. She felt a panic run through her. He stepped aside as the cell door opened. A man stepped into the shadow next to Bucky. He took a step further into the light. Ella felt confused and sick. "Sam?"


	10. Chapter 10

"They're tracking us." he said looking at Steve.

Steve looked at him in frustration.

"No, this is actually a good thing, technically speaking." he said. "Trust me. They're giving us exactly the advantage we need.

Steve was getting impatient. He wanted to get to them before they were subjectd to anything. He swore to Ella they would protect her. Bucky had just began to make some progress. He would do whatever had to be done to save them and to let Ella know how he felt.

* * *

"You're not dead?" asked Ella still in disbelief. Her dead fiance standing right in front of her.

"Obviously not." he said taking a seat next to her on the cell cot. He reached to touch her shoulder but Ella sat up pulliing herself away.

"I'm sorry. I'm having a hard time with this," she said. She groaned as she felt the pain in her side.

"How can you be alive? I've lived with guilt ever since that day. I thought you died. I felt responsible."

"Ella, I did what was best for you and for us" he said.

"The best? What do you mean? For us?" she asked. "You allowed this?"

"Ella, you have always had a natural ability bordering on ESP. I did what was best for you to develop your talent and do good in this world." he said. "You were wasting your talents with counseling."

Ella looked past him to the masked soldier with the silver arm. "You worked with these men? You arranged my kidnapping.? What about your family?"

"Ella, there was no one in the house. Not even me. It was necessary for you to disappear. The explosion bought us time. The probelm is you left the experiment too soon." he said taking her hand.

She stared into his eyes, "Five years I mourned you. Three of those years I was subjected to things at the hands of men who didn't care about anything except the end resuts. My well being was no factor at all and you want to lie and tell me you cared?" she scoffed. "Are you even Tony's Godson?" she said trying to sort this out in her head.

"No, I stole his Godson's identity. Tony had lost touch with the family so taking their identity was fairly easy. It was just an added incentive to bring him into the picture." he said smiling.

"You can't control people."she said.

Sam looked at her and turned to the side using his hands to motion as if presenting Bucky still standing in the shadow. "Remember him?"

Sam turned back to Ella who sat enrgaed now. Her fiance. It was all a lie. "He won't protect you. You're friendship with Mr. Barnes was cute. Ironic, actually. You don't remember how you helped us, do you?" he said. "You're not his friend." he said stroking her hand. "You administered the psychological drugs to help when he needed a reset. You are responsible for him being the monster he is. You helped wipe his memory for years. Once we developed your abilities you were the person to bring him back into comlpiance. When he became unstable you were able to approach him and subdue him. Hydra created him, but you perfected the process with those ten little words that snap him back into Soldier mode."

Ella fell back against the metal bed rail.

"I'll leave you with that." he said as he got up to leave. "Oh, and if you return to us, willingly, I can arrange your stay with me. Ella, I really do love you." he said looking at her. She stared blankly at the wall. "Either way, this is your home now." he exited the cell just leaving her and Bucky.

She noticed her wound seemed to be better. She hoped that maybe she did have the healing abilities. She needed it right now. If she could anger Bucky and he fought her she could mimic his abilities including healing. She didn't want to but had to admit it could be her only chance. She wouldn't leave without him. No matter what Sam said, she would help him.

"Hey." she said. Bucky made no move. She stood to approach him. He just stared her down through the dark shadow. She walked up to him. He seemed like a statue. She took a deep breath and swung with all her might and landed a punch on his jaw. His face flew to the side. He grabbed her and pushed her on the cot. He punched her wound. She let out a scream of pain. As she struggled against him she felt the surge. She fought back knocking him to the floor. She jumped on top of him straddling him and tore off the mask. The face staring back at her wasn't Bucky. Without hesitation she punched him hard to knock him out. She pulled at his arm. It was a metal sleeve. She fell back onto the floor. Her side seared with pain. She searched the man and tied his hands and legs with her sheets. She wondered where they had Bucky. If she faked agreeing to Sam's plan she may be able to find out where he is. She sat on her cot exhausted. Clearly this man was just a regular guy. What Sam didn't realize was that he gave her a piece of the puzzle. She had a plan to help Bucky. She would give back to Bucky what they took from him. She would do whatever it took to see to it.

* * *

"Again." said Kreutz to the young man. A young man nervously hit the switch sending a shock through electrodes to Bucky's head. His body siezed up. The familiar pain. He kept his thoughts on Ella. She wanted him to focus on the fragments. He kept focus on that and would not give up. The shock stopped. His body melted into the chair. The sweat pouring from him.

Kreutz appraoched Bucky. "Your friend lies bleeding to death in a cell. To save her you must become her enemy." he said slapping him. "Comply or she dies!"

He signaled the young man who, once again, flipped the switch. This time Bucky gave into the familiar pain. He knew the only way to save her was to let go. So he did.

* * *

The guard writhed on the floor shouting for help. Ella just watched him. He wouldn't give her any information where they had Bucky. She knew he had to be here. Kreutz talked as though the plan was to get Bucky to fight her. She still refused to believe she played any part in this. Even though she knew if she did, she did not do it willingly. They had to have programmed her as they did Bucky. Eventually Sam returned with three guards.

"Ella. You weren't supposed to do that." he said.

"Neither were you." she said speaking to his betrayl.

"Kreutz would like to speak to you." he said appraoching her.

"I'm sorry but I have to decline." she said staring at the floor.

He grabbed her. "This is all very cute but if you want to save your ass then follow orders."

Ella stood. "It's not my ass who needs saving." Sam smiled at her. "You know, you can still be my wife. Your little affections for James are cute, but I don't think that will be working out."

Ella ignored him and followed the guards out the door. Sam untied the captive guard and followed. It took all of her strength to walk. She hoped they would take her to Bucky. She had to know how he was even if she feared it.

* * *

"Do you want to replace the prothstetic arm?" asked the young man asisting Kreutz.

"No. We can make use of Mr. Stark's technology." he replied.

As the two worked at the computer next to the restrained Bucky, Sam enetered the room with Ella. She saw Bucky in the chair held down by multiple restraints. Her heart sank. He looked exhausted and drained. Sam watched her studying Bucky.

"Kreutz, Ella is ready." said Sam pushing her towards Kreutz.

Kreutz looked at her. He saw her still bleeding wound. "You will handle the final step in bringing James back to us." he said.

"I think you're mistaken." she said defiantly.

"It's who you are. You willingly did this." he said.

"Sam explained his version of how he turned me over to you and I don't care what you say I did. I won't play any part of causing further hurt to him." she said.

"That's sweet." he said grabbing her. "You think you have a choice." he said pointing to the monitor showing Steve and Tony. "You'll have their blood on your hands. And your dreams of being with James will be nil. " he grinned. "You both care deeply for one another. You always have. That has been the problem. You came to us not five years ago, but ten." he said tightening his grip on her arm."You worked with James. You fed him information to ensure he had no surprises with his targets." he smiled wickedly. "Surprised?"

"I'm done with the surprises. Let us go." she demanded.

He dragged her over to Bucky. He made no eye contact with her. "State his full name."

She looked at Kreutz. "No."

Kruetz nodded his head and a shot rang out. This time striking her arm. She screamed in pain.

"You didn't see that coming." he grinned. "State his name!"

She was shaking. "James Buchanan Barnes."

His head snapped to look at her.

She gasped. She looked into his eyes. They stared at one another. He looked her up and down slowly. "Ella?"

She smiled weakly. "Bucky?" as the words left her mouth Kreutz smacked her across the face. Bucky jumped in his seat.

"NO!" he screamed and fought against his restraints. "I'll kill you if you touch her again!"

Kreutz pulled her back and pulled the lever sending shocks through his body. When it stopped Kreutz pulled Ella to face him. "You do as I say and only as I say." Kreutz said pulling her back to Bucky. He was sweating and exhausted. "State his name."

"James Buchanan Barnes." she said as her voice waivered.

His head slowly turned to look at her.

Kreutz handed her a paper. "Read this." Ella looked at the page with ten words. "Read them aloud to him."

Ella looked at it and raised her eyes to look at Bucky. She wanted to be back in his room holding him on his bed. She wanted them to be far away from this. A tear escaped her eye as she looked at him. She saw a tear fall from the corner of his eye. He looked at her as she hesitated.

Kreutz squeezed the fresh wound on her arm. "Read!"

Ella spoke each word slowly. With each word she saw the conflict grow within Bucky. His internal struggle became greater as he fought against himself. As she said the last word. Bucky became calm. His eyes empty.

"Soldier?" asked Kreutz.

"Ready to comply." replied Bucky.

"This girl." said Kreutz pulling Ella to be directly in front of him. "She is your mission. Kill her."


	11. Chapter 11

Kruetz dropped her to the floor as he walked over to Bucky to release him from his restraints. Rumlow entered the room and pinned Ella against the wall until he was freed.

"Let's see how you two feel about one another after this." he said smiling.

Ella watched Bucky. His eyes were fierce and fixed on her. She braced herself. She hoped her ablities would kick in before he snapped her neck. Kreutz untied the last restraint and walked to exit the room with Rumlow and the other men. Bucky stood and walked slowly to her. She tried to stand and back away but she tripped and fell. He jumped on top of her and began choking her. She used her good arm to punch the side of his face. It did nothing except make him squeeze harder. Just as before, when she felt her breath leave her the surge hit. Her body matching his strength. She took her hands and grabbed his pulling them from her throat. He looked at her surprised. She flipped him over and straddled him throwing her hardest punch with her good arm. He grabbed her by her waist and he tossed her to the side. The pain in her wounds were beginning to subside. As she stood he rushed her pinning her to the wall.

"Bucky. " she gasped. He stared at her holding her against the wall. He brought up his fist and punched at her face. Before his fist made contact she moved her head. His fist punctured the cement wall. She took the moment to drop below his grip and get away but he grabbed her by her hair as he freed his hand from the wall.

"Stop, Bucky. It's me, Ella." she said as he dragged her by her hair and slammed her back into the wall.

His face showed an intense anger and emptiness. He lunged towards her and momentarily hesitated before punching her and sending her crashing to the ground. She was having a hard time dialing into his thoughts to counter his attack. He once again was on top of her. He threw another punch as she rolled from underneath him. She got to her feet and ran to the other side of the room.

"Bucky! Think! It's Ella. Steve Rogers is your friend. You know me. I have tried to help you get what these monsters have taken from you!" she yelled at him. He ran at her throwing a punch. She caught his fist and twisted his arm behind his back running him into the adjacent wall and pinning him.

"Bucky, think!" she said into his ear. He seemed to stop fighting her and turned around. She looked into his eyes. They softened, "Ella?" She sighed and gave him a slight smile. Then he grabbed his head and and screamed. Without warning he punched her in the stomach. She doubled over as he hit her over the back of her head. She still could not dial in to counter his attack. She didn't understand it? As she laid on the ground he punched her face. She felt disoriented. She got to her knees and scrambled to crawl away to get to her feet. He grabbed her leg and swung her to smack her head into the wall. She had his strength and her wounds better but she could not read his attacks to prevent further wounds. She was holding her own but with each hit she was slowing down. She needed to counter his atracks to get a chances to heal the cuts and bruises he was inflicting. He was relentless. She laid on the floor weak. He jumped on top of her as she felt the warm blood on her cheek. She looked up at him. She could read nothing of what he would do next. He may kill her.

"Bucky, you said you remember every detail or every killing. If you kill me, I want you to know that it wasn't your fault. They programmed you. They made me help them. Please forgive me. I want you to know and remember this, I forgive you." she paused composing herself as he loomed over her, " and I love you." she said as a tear escaped her eye. She closed her eyes and braced herself.


	12. Chapter 12

**********had to tweak this chapter slightly from original posting, sorry, I have quirks*************

* * *

Bucky looked down at her with his fist ready to crush her skull. He stopped. He looked at Ella beneath him bruised and bloodied. As if a switch went off and the painful realization this was was him. She was bruised and bloodied by him. By his hands. Her eyes closed in fear. Fear of him. He carefully lowered his hand to touch her cheek. His hand trembled. Ella cautiously opened her eyes as she felt his touch. He looked down at her with tears in his eyes.

"Bucky?" she asked unsure of if it was him or the programmed version of him.

He said nothing but lifted her up and wrapped his arms tightly around her. She returned the embrace burying her head in his neck. She could feel his rhythmic breaths and the sorrow behind it. "It's ok. I'm ok." she said holding him tighter. They heard the door open behind them. Bucky's head slowly lifted from her shoulder. As she lifted her head she placed a soft kiss on his cheek. He carressed her hand resting on his chest.

" _Ostavaysya zdes_ " he said as he looked at her as she still clung to him. When he spoke the words she understood, "Stay here." It would not be until later she realized he spoke to her in Russian. He gently let go and stormed towards the guards pouring through the door. He knocked the first two guards head together and they fell. Ella slowly stood just as five guards rushed in and pinned Bucky to the wall. She tried to run to help him but was grabbed. Her exhaustion and pain clouded her abilities to warn them of the coming attacks.

"Enough!" shouted Rumlow holding a gun to Ella's head.

Bucky froze as the remaining two guards knocked him to the ground while three others brought in a mechanized restraint. His eyes were crazed as he looked at Rumlow holding Ella.

"Nice work, soldier. She seems to have lost her fight." said Rumlow wrapping his arm around the front of her torso slowly to anger Bucky. Bucky yelled as he fought against the restraint encasing his arms and chest. Ella suddenly became aware of Rumlow's thoughts. She was disgusted. She spun around pinning her forearm into his windpipe as she shoved him into the wall. "You may not feel pain but you still need oxygen to live." she said shoving her forearm further to his windpipe. "Clean up your thoughts." she said giving one final shove. "Or I take then from you." she said releasing him and standing with her arms in the air to show her surrender. She was exhausted. Her attack on Rumlow took all she had left in her. Rumlow choked and coughed rubbing his throat. She looked at Bucky and gave a slight smirk. Two guards stepped away from the restrained Bucky to grab Ella..

"Leave her alone!" shouted Bucky.

Kreutz walked in as Ella was handcuffed.

"Well, this has been enlightening and disappointing all at the same time." said Kreutz. "Ella, why did you not counter his moves?" he asked stepping to block her view of Bucky.

"Because I would rather let what you started with me end with my death." she said hoping her words did not cause Bucky further injury but for now, she had to lie.

"Take them to his their cells and let the doctor know she needs examined" said Kreutz. Sam walked in and took her arm. She tried to pull away but the guard held her in place. Kreutz watched Bucky closely. Ella looked at Bucky and nodded to try to let him know she's be ok. As the door shut behind her she heard the echo of Bucky's words, "I'll kill you!"

* * *

"I've got the location and the visual feed they are getting is a loop of the footage since they hacked in. That will buy us time to get to Ella and Bucky." said Tony.

"How many men?" he asked.

Tony pulled up satellite footage of the structure. "Thermal imaging shows about 175 between interior and exterior."

"How about our way in?" he asked.

"There is an entrance to the south and north." relayed Tony.

"Then I'll get in the south entrance and sweep the floors. I'll call you in once I locate them." said Steve.

"Sounds like a plan, but what about a suit?" he asked.

"Not necessary. " he said.

"Humor me?" said Tony walking to a closet and tossing a bag at his feet.


	13. Chapter 13

*********sorry had to scrap the old chapter cause it did not flow, oh how it bugged me, anyways, sorry to make you read another CH 13. Now back to my mini-hiatus aka other project. See yas in July wih next chapter***********

* * *

Bucky was put in a cell next to Ella. Kreutz and a doctor went into the cell with her to check her wounds. Bucky was released from the metal shackles with the understanding that if he did not cooperate Ella would face the consequences. Ella was directed to lay on the cot as the dark haired short doctor examined her wounds. He went to lift her shirt and she grabbed his hand.

"That won't be necessary." she said.

"You will let this doctor examine you. We cannot have our prized possession damaged." he said.

"Then don't put me in a position to incur damage." she said releasing the doctors hand.

Kreutz turned to look at Bucky in the next cell. Bucky watched intently ready to kill Kreutz.

"Must be hard knowing you are the reason for her pain." said Kreutz. Bucky kept his eyes fixed on Kreutz as the doctor had Ella remove her shirt. He was glad Rumlow was not with them. He was looking to kill him first for what they had done to Ella and to him.

"This was you Kreutz so you can drop the guilt trip." said Ella buttoning her shirt.

"She is fine. Bruised but not broken." said the doctor to Kreutz. "She needs rest and I will need to provide some stitches and bandage the bullet wounds."

"Go get your supplies." said Kreutz.

The doctor exited and Rumlow entered. Bucky ran to the shared wall of the cell.

"Keep him away from her!" he yelled.

Rumlow looked at Kreutz and then smiled at Bucky. Ella kept a concerned eye on Bucky.

"So sweet." commented Rumlow.

"You two seem bonded even after he nearly killed you." said Kreutz. "Why didn't you counter his attacks?" asked Kreutz to Ella.

Ella looked at him, "I wanted him to kill me so what you did to me would end with me." she lied. She avoided Bucky's eyes fearing the statement would further wound him.

"Do you remember James?" he asked.

"How would I remember James?" she asked.

"Your research in extra sensory perception and controlling the mind were pivotal with our work and the Winter Soldier. You helped us perfect the reprogramming process." he said looking at Bucky. "Of course, it seems now, we are in need of your help once more." Ella looked at Bucky. His brow was furrowed and if she had any guess to what he was thinking, it was about how to kill Kreutz and Rumlow multiple ways slowly.

"I won't." she said.

"Well, you and James no longer have a choice." he said.

"You can't dangle Tony and Steve in front of us forever." she said.

"No. We can't." he said smiling. "What we can do is let you be with James. You two can be together as you once were. The missions as they once were. You return from them with no memory." he said.

"What do you mean? He remembers everything." she argued.

"Yes, but you don't." he said. Ella stared at him shocked by his comment.

The cell opened and Sam enterd with the doctor. "I need privacy, please." asked the doctor.

"No." said Kreutz.

"I am more than happy to have more stitches to attain the privacy the doctor requested." said Ella standing. "Happy to start with you." she said to Sam.

The doctor sat her down and began the stitches on her arm and side. He bandaged what was visible and quietly handed her medicine and bandages for other areas requiring privacy.

She nodded her thanks to him. "I'm finsihed."

Kreutz, Rumlow, and Sam left with the doctor.

Ella walked over to the shared wall and sat down. Bucky sat also.

"I'm sorry." he said.

"So am I." she said.

He looked at her confused.

"I should've protected you." she sighed.

He let out a slight chuckle, "You are delusonal." he said reaching through the bars for her hand. She grasp it. It was comforting.

"Do you know what Kreutz was talking about? Do you remember me?" she asked staring at their intertwined hands.

"Not specifically." he said looking at her bruised face. It made him sick to his stomach to know that he had hit her.

"What do you remember?" she asked breaking his thoughts.

"You just feel familiar to me." he said.

"If I helped them, like he says, why can't I remember?" she asked looking up to meet his gaze.

He looked at her through the bars. "I don't know. Would it make a difference?"

"What if I am a bad guy?" she asked.

"It's not that simple. You know that, Ella." he said. She looked at him and nodded. "Why didn't you counter me when," he paused looking down at their hands. "when I came after you."

"I," she paused, "I couldn't dial in to your thoughts."

He looked at her confused. "I mimicked your strength and healing but I couldn't get to your thoughts. The only explanation is that I didn't sense a threat in you." She squeezed his hand. "You stopped yourself." she said smiling at him.

"You told me you loved me." he said. She looked at him. "I remembered." he said looking as if he was blushing.

"Yeah, well, let's table that discussion for when we get out of here." she said feeling as though it was now her turn to blush.

"What was Rumlow thinking?" he asked. She could see the anger in his eyes.

She turned her head away from him, "You enjoy torturing yourself, don't you?" she said to him, "Bucky, don't worry about that." She could tell he would anyway.

"I'l kill anyone who hurts you." he said.

"Even if it's you?" asked Sam appearing at the cell door.

Bucky jumped to his feet. Ella slowly got to her feet. She kept hold of Bucky's hand through the bars behind her back. She needed the comfort.

"What do you want?" she asked. He walked towards and pulled her arm that was holding Bucky's hand.

"You." he said pulling her with him.

Bucky pulled at the bar with his hand.

"No?" she said pulling from him.

"We need to talk without," he paused looking at Bucky, "him."

She looked at Bucky then turned and swung at Sam. She made contact with his jaw. He grabbed her arm and punched her fresh stitches in her side.

Bucky pulled at the bars with all his might to get to Ella. The poles separated from the ceiling and fell toward Bucky. He tossed them to the side and hurried into Ella's cell. Ella fell to the ground in pain as Bucky took Sam by the throat. Sam gasped as Bucky kept tight hold.

"If you want to live you show us the way out now." he said through gritted teeth. He was hoping he wouldn't because he was more than ready to end his existence.


	14. Chapter 14

******just a quick note to let you know this story will be updated in a few weeks. For now I have tweaked chapter 12 and reworked chapter 13 cause it bugged me. The next chapter** **is on hold due to another project (eh, reality) but will continue. Thank you all who have reviewed, followed, favorited, and just stopped by for a read. You all make me smile! So tbc sometime in July, promise!*******


	15. Chapter 15

**************reality had to take a pause. I had to story***************

* * *

"Bucky, Kreutz could throw the switch on the fail safe in your arm." warned Ella as he gripped Sam's throat.

Bucky rolled up his sleeve. "Not likely." Ella saw a small rectangular area vacant in the area of his forearm. "Tony showed me how to remove it."

Ella knew Tony and Bucky had a trust when it came to his controlled self. They had a mutual hate. Tony knew Bucky would never remove it unless he knew it was not necessary.

"You might need to let up on the grip if he is going to speak." she said.

Reluctantly he let go. Sam gasp and took a deep breath. "You'll never get out of here alive."

"Neither will you." said Bucky punching him. He fell hard to the ground.

Bucky took her hand and headed to the door. He knocked at Ella's door and two guards opened it. They walked out. Bucky knocked them out easily and grabbed their guns. Ella's side was getting better. She must still have his healing ability. They quietly made their way through the hall to an elevator. They found a set of stairs near the elevator and took those to the upper level. He held her hand firmly as they made their way up the stairs to the door. He looked back at her and nodded as they opened the door and were met by a hall full of guards. Kreutz walked out in front of the guards with Rumlow.

"You can both surrender now and walk away." he said.

"We'll just walk away." said Bucky.

"It's not a choice." said Kreutz.

"Seems to be your theme." said Bucky.

Kreutz pushed some device in his hand. They stood watching him. Kreutz looked down at the device.

"The fail safe doesn't work. We thought it may inhibit an escape and we're ready to go." said Ella. Bucky pushed Ella into the shallow doorway as they took cover. The guards began to fire. Bucky began firing back. He hit every mark. Ella grabed the second gun tucked in the back of his pants and dropped on her knees beside him matching his accuracy. When the guns were empty the remaining guards charged.

"Stay close." he said.

"The only way to make sure you're safe." she said as he gave her a not so amused side glance.

There were too many guards to tap into their thoughts. She had to focus on not dialing in. It was too much. The took each guard as they came. They took out ten guards easily leaving Rumlow and Kreutz. Bucky charged at Rumlow. Rumlow was resilient against Bucky's onslaught. Kreutz came at Ella. She struck him knocking him to the ground.

"Tell me how to break the hold on James? How do I make sure he is never controlled again?" she demanded.

Kreutz smiled, "It's hopeless. He will never be free and neither will you."

"You won't hurt us ever again. Your control ends here." she said as she picked up a gun from the unconscious guard pointing it at him.

"You think this is the only facility? Your research will live on." he said.

"Too bad you won't." she said pulling the trigger.

Bucky turned at the noise pausing his atack on Rumlow. Once he saw Ella was ok he landed one more punch to his face knocking him out. He hurried to Ella who stood holding the gun. Her eyes fixed on Kreutz as the blood spilled around his head. She looked to be in shock. Bucky gently put his hands on her arms gliding his hands to calm her trembling arms. He removed the gun from her hands.

"Ella?" he asked throwing the gun aside.

She turned to look in his eyes. It was eerily quiet. The weight of her actions made her feel sick and immobile.

"Ella, we need to go." he said.

"I killed him." she said in shock. She felt dizzy. Bucky took note and steadied her. He wrapped his arm around her to guide her away. She took several steps and passed out. Bucky grabbed a gun as he picked Ella up to carry her. She felt weightless in his arms. He remembered carrying her before like this. He remembered. He took the back entrance out. As they headed into a wooded area to find a road. The ground rocked nearly knocking him over. He turned around to see the facility go up in flames. He held Ella tightly and headed into the woods. His only focus was to get her back to Steve.


	16. Chapter 16

Bucky knew they needed to find shelter. Bucky carried here until they came to a small back road. There was a small rundown motel. He walked in with Ella in arms.

We need a room." he said as the clerk eyed him.

"Is she ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, She's just tired and not feeling well. Our car broke down a ways back and we had to walk." he said.

"Of course." said the clerk. "One room left."

"We'll take it." he said.

"Just a few hours or what do ya need?" he asked.

Bucky didn't care for his insinuation. "The night." he said irritated.

The man slid him the keys. "Credit card machine is broken so you pay when ya turn in the keys."

"Thanks." said Bucky and headed with Ella to the room.

* * *

"I finally got a track on Bucky's hardware." said Tony.

They were on their way to the facility thanks to help from Clint who volunteered to fly the jet.

Steve opted to leave the uniform behind. He still had not reconciled the last time he wore the suit. The last battle fought in it. So he wore plain clothes. He dressed in black to camouflage in the dark knight. He was concerned about what they were walking into but determined to get them both back. Ella had come to mean a lot to him in a short time. He was fond of her. He needed her to know.

"Cap," said Tony as Steve shot him a look, "sorry, habit." he said, "How do you want to handle this?"

"I go in and clear the floors then I'll radio to bring you in." he said.

Tony saw the worry on his face. "I'm sure they're fine. They are very capable."

"Yeah." he said. He knew Bucky would keep her safe as long as they didn't try to manipulate him.

* * *

 _E_ lla shot up. She was looked around. Where was she? She began to panic. The room was unfamiliar.

"Ella." said Bucky sitting next to her. Her head snapped to him.

"Bucky," she said. "where are we?"

"We're at a motel. You passed out." he said.

"We made it out?" she said smiling.

"Yeah." he said smiling. He was glad to see the bruises and cuts healing.

"Thank you." she said. "for getting me out of there.

"Couldn't have done it without you keeping me safe." he said teasing.

"Delusional pays off." she said with a laugh.

She scooted back against the headboard.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"Not sure." he said.

"We have to go back. I need answers. Kreutz." she said.

Bucky just looked at her. "Ella, Kreutz is dead."

Ella looked at him confused and searching her mind for memories. It hit her, "I killed him." she said. "I killed the chance for answers." she said putting her head in her hands. "I'm a killer. At least we settled that."

"Ella, we did what we had to so we could get out of there." he said taking a seat next to her and putting his hand on her back. He wanted to keep a distance. He needed to. She kept her face hidden. He knew she was stiffling tears. It was all he could do not to take her in his arms. He needed to get her back to Steve. Back to safety and away from him.

"He said I helped them. That won't stop haunting me." she said. "They said we worked together on missions. I don't mean to be selfish, but do you remember that? Me on a mission with you?"

He looked at her, "Ella, you need to rest right now, not figure everything out."

She nodded her head. He watched her wipe tears from her face. Her brown hair matted to her face by tears. Her pale skin and green eyes. He was mesmerized by her. She was beautiful. He hated Steve for being the better man.

She took a deep breath. "Is there a shower here?" she asked.

"Yeah. Help yourself." he said remaining on the bed as she walked to the shower.

She walked in and shut the door. He turned on the TV amd walked to the window. He looked out at the parkijg lot surveying the cars and patrons. He couldn't forgive himself. He beat her. That simple. They pulled the strings but it was his hands. He wasn't sorry she killed Kreutz. He was sorry he didn't get yhe chance. t. He was sorry she didn't remember their past. The little fragments of them he held on to so many nights as he struggled with pain. Now she was here and he was trying to forget. He sat down and flipped through the channels. They seemed to be in some part of France. He picked up the phone to see if he could make a call. The line was dead. He didn't even know how to contact Steve or Tony.

"Bucky?" she called from the bathroom.

"Ella, are you ok?" he asked.

"Yes, it's just that we don't have fresh clothes. Are you ok of I come out in a towel and get into bed?" she asked.

He smiled, "Yes, you're fine." he said turning his back, Her modesty always amused him. It was one o the many reasons he was attracted to her.

Ella appeared from the bathroom in a towel. Bucky kept his back to her as she got into bed.

"Ok." she said to him.

"I'll sleep here." he said moving an old wodden chair next to the bed.

"No. Bucky. We can share the bed. I'll get dressed." she said.

He walked to her and stopped her from getting up. "No, Ella. You need to sleep and that is fine."

"Well, then you shower up and take the other half of the bed." she said.

"Thought you were old fashioned. I can take the chair." he said.

"I can make an exception for sharing a bed after what we have been through." she said smiling.

He went to the bathroom and showered. She had almost dozed off when he appeared with a towel aroujd his waist. He laid down next to her being careful to keep a distance.

"Goodnigt." she said as she rolled over facing him. He kept himself above the covers so she could be warm underneath them.

"Goodnight." he replied.

"You can be under the covers with me," she said. "I trust an old fashioned gentleman."

He smiled. "I'm fine."

"Bucky." she said.

"I'm warm so this is better." he said.

She watched him as he stared at the ceiling. There was a familiarness being with him but no memeories. He was so kind and she felt so safe with him, She wanted him to understand how she felt but knew had not even begun to forgive himself for the beating he gave her. She had to keep the relationship professional anyway to withhold to the ethical code while working wih him. She did love him.

She couldn't lie to herself about her feelings but she couldn't be open either.

* * *

"Guys." said Clint. "I think this is your facility."

Steve and Tony stepped up to see a pile of hot ash and smoldering flames. The building was incinerated. Steve felt like the wind had just been knocked out of him.

"Bucky? Ella?" he asked.

Tony ran scans. "Nothing. I'm not picking up any signs of survivors. I'm sure they got out."

"This is where his hardware traced to?" asked Steve.

"Yes, but-" Tony started but was cut off by Steve.

"We need to land and check it out." he insisted.

* * *

Ella tossed and turned. She tried not to disturb Bucky. He seemed to be sleeping. She was glad. She was surprised her gunahot wounds seemed to almost be healed. It was almostmas if she still had healing abilities. When she first met them she seemed to habe accelerated healing but thought maybe it was just an issue of the scrapes being a light wound. This type of wound was different. She thought of Sam. He wasn't dead, but now he was. Why couldn't she remember Bucky? Kreutz. She needed air. She got up quietly. Bucky grabbed her arm.

"Where are you going?" he asked. She grabbed at her slipping towel.

"I just needed to get up. I can't sleep." she said.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"The better question is what's right?" she said. "My mind is just racing." He gently tugged at her arm for her to lay back in the bed. She climbed back under the covers. He pushed himself closer to her and wrapped his arm around her. She looked up and him as he smiled. She moved closer to him and laid her head on his bare chest.

"So what is racing through your mind?" he asked his voice groggy from sleep.

"What we just went through." she said. "Just all of it." It felt so good to be in his arms. "Did we share moments like this?"

She felt his chest rise with a breath. "Just rest." he said not wanting to answer.

"In a minute. I was thinking we can use some cognitive behavioral techniques to undo the reset using the ten words. We can interrupt the mapping and rewire the unconscious reflex reaction." she said.

He began to rub her shoulder. "Tomorrow." he said kissing the top of her head. "Sorry." he said thinking of their conversation about him kissing her cheek.

"I'll allow it." she said. "Just this once."

He chuckled. As he continued to rub her shoulder. She soon drifted off comfortably in his arms.

* * *

Steve combed through the area surrounding the facility.

"Steve we'll find them." said Tony.

Steve was silent. They had to.

"Guys, why don't we check out the local towns around the area. More than likely they got out and are on foot." said Clint trying to ease the obvious pain Steve was in.

"Good idea." said Tony. "If he removed the fail safe then that could be why this is the last trace."

"He knew how to remove the fail safe?" asked Steve.

"In case he no longer needed it, yes." he said.

Steve saw Tony in a different light. He was giving Bucky a chance.

"My guess is to get out he needed that gone, Kreutz probably tapped into it." said Tony.

"Thanks, Tony." said Steve.

"Yeah, well, still no promises I won't kick his ass someday." he said, "but right now there are priorities."

Steve agreed and the first was to find them.


	17. Chapter 17

**25 years earlier**

 **Sangrur, India**

* * *

"You will help us develop a simpler method." said the man as he pulled the switch. The man in the chair screamed and writhed as the electric fed the metal clamped to his head.

"Stop?" she yelled. "I'll help. Just please, don't." she said looking at the poor man.

"Then you will develop a method." he said.

"Yes," she said panicked as if the electricity coursed through her body instead, "there is a type of hypnosis using a word string." she said feeling defeated. At least it would spare this poor man the pain."I can develop a string of words. The longer the string the more comlplex and binding." she said. "Please, let me check on him."

The man nodded as a guard let her enter the room. "Are you ok?"

He just stared at her. He was exhausted. He was unsure of her intent.

"Who are you?" his voice came deep and raspy.

She stared at him. That question. She had no answer. "I don't know." she paused, " but they're making me help them." she said looking at him. "They want me to develop a method to bring you into compliance as their soldier. A method without the neuro-shock. I told them I will use a hypnosis technique with words. A series of word that bring you into comlpiance. My plan is to use a word that has meaning to you within the series. This will keep you somewhat aware during the missions. You will remember and this will help you not lose yourself going back and forth. Is there a word that means something to you? That would remind you of something good from your past? A fond memory. Something to anchor you to who you are, not what they are trying to create you to be."

"I don't want to remember. " he said.

"I know, but if you don't rememeber, if you can't hold onto that conciousness of you, then I might not be able to bring you back." she said. "My goal is to get you out of here."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because what they are doing to you is not right. If they are going to force me to help then I will, but I'll help you, not them."

"If they find out they'll kill you." he said as his eyes softened with concerned.

"Still be better than this." she said.

"Nine. My best friend and I became friends when we were nine." he said,

"Nine. It will be part of the string. I'm sorry but at least this way you won't have to endure the nuero-shock. I will develop an anti-hypnosis based on nine also, so when I can, I will work with you to free you of this so you can safely escape." she said.

"You don't know your name?" he asked concerned.

"I'm part of an experiment too." she said sadly. "Whatever they are doing to me, they took that part of me." she said sadly.

"Can I call you Ella? You look like an Ella." he said.

She smiled. "Ella, I like it." her eyes looked at him with concern "Please be ok" she said touching his hand.

"Ella, when you free me, I'm bringing you with me." he said with a serious look.

A guard came in and pulled her away. He looked angrily at the guard. She was taken back to the observation room.

"Begin your work now!" he demanded.

* * *

It took her several days in working with the man with the metal arm to get the hypnosis. Her captors insisted she speak it in Russian.

She walked up to the man. He could see the sadness in her eyes, "I'm sorry." she said near tears.

"They will be." he said nodding to her. She touched his hand and he grabbed it giving it a squeeze.

"Touching. " said the man grabbing her arm to pull her hand from his. "Do it!"

She tried not to shake as she held the paper and recited the words. With each word she noted his stare became more empty. By the final word his eyes stared only forward.

The man behind her asked, "Soldier?"

The metal armed man answered, "Ready to comply."

The man behind her signaled the guards who grabbed her and pulled her again from the room.

"Resume the experiments on her." he called out. She kept her head turned back to the metal armed man. His eyes kept a stare on her as she disappeared from the room.

* * *

She knew it had been several days. She was taken from her room peroidically to a dark room. They put something on her head. A man spoke a language that she knew was foreign but she understood the meaning of every word. She was tired. After the words were read a woman came in to talk to her about situations she didn't remember. Then a doctor came in and administered a shot. She fell asleep.

* * *

"Ella." came a whisper in the dark.

"What?" she said to the voice. She was disoriented.

She felt a set of strong arms wrap around her. She gripped onto the dark figure.

"We're getting out of here. You need to be quiet." he said.

"Ok." she whispered. She felt a cold sensation under her legs. As they walked under a dim light she saw the metal arm and his face. The man. He was ok. He was rescuing her.

"You should-" as she spoke to protest. He quickly let her down and put his hand over her mouth. The metal was cold against her skin.

"Shh." he said. "You're coming." he released her mouth and gripped her hand as they walked carefully down the dim lit hall.

As they reached a door he turned to her and nodded. He quickly opened the door. He rushed out and she heard grunts and punches. As she came through the doorway she saw two guards lying on the ground. He grabbed the rifles. He gave her one and took one for himself. She didn't know how to use it. She followed him closely as they walked around the building, He waved her to come around the corner with him. He held his hand up to signal her to stop. She did. He waved her to come beside him. He looked down the barrel of his rifle. He directed her to do the same. She shook her head. He nodded. She looked through the site and lined up the shot. He took his and she followed immediately. Both men fell. She stood in shock. He grabbed her hand and they ran to the woods.


	18. Chapter 18

**Present Day**

* * *

Ella woke up still in Bucky's arms. She carefully looked at him to see if he was awake. His soft blue eyes looked back at her.

"About time." he said smiling at her.

"Sorry, I was a little comfortable." she said.

"We should get going. I'll get dressed." he said. She rolled over to give him privacy as he got up and dressed.

"I hope, you know, sleeping like this was ok?" she said feeling nervous. "I just needed to sleep and after all we've been through-"

"Ella, you don't need to explain yourself. I needed it too." he said. He watched her as she laid with her back to him. The bruises on her shoulders were gone. He was thankful. "Ok." he said to her turning his back. She got out of the bed with her towel wrapped around her and went to the bathroom to dress. She hurried up and dressed in her blood stained clothes. She walked out of the bathroom.

"Here, put this on." he said handing her his jacket.

"You might need it." she protested.

"We don't want to freak people out with your shirt." he said looking at it. She saw him pause. She knew what he was thinking about. The reason for the blood. She hurriedly covered her shirt with his jacket. He took a step closer to her and buttoned it closed. He at her. The sadness in his eyes again. She placed a hand on his arm. She said nothing only smiled. She knew his thoughts. His remorse. She knew there was nothing she could say.

"Ok. So what is our plan?" she asked.

"Well, we're broke, but we need some breakfast. I also found out we're in southern Toronto." he said.

She looked at him confused. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah, Canada. Where every evil is born." he joked. "How are your wounds?"

"All healed." she said lifting the side his jacket she wore. " The healing abilities really came in handy. Thanks for sharing." She wanted to do everything she could to keep him focused on the positive.

He quietly nodded.

"Back in the room. After, things." she paused watching his reaction to what she said. He seeemd ok so she continued, "you spoke a language to me. I understood it."

He looked at her. He wasn't sure if or how to respond. "Ella, the things I do remember, I'm not sure I can trust." he said.

"So you have memories of me?" she asked.

"Fragments." he said. "Once we were in the facility and you snapped me out of that. There were a few things thay came back."

"So, what they said was true?" she said solemnly. She had hoped they were lies.

"Ella, I can't say that." he said. He took her hand in his to comfort her and squeezed it. "We need to go."

She knew the questions were painful for him and the knowledge she gained was for her. She wouldn't let this stop her in her mission to help Bucky. The realization of the heaviness and magnitude of what he is dealing with was evident. They would need to go slow and tread lightly. He guided her by the hand and they snuck out the back door of the hotel. They had no money to pay. They found a small diner a few miles down the road. They bargained to wash dishes for whatever food they could spare. The quaint elderly couple would make no such deal and offered them their pick from the menu on the house. They chose the basic eggs and bacon with toast and coffee. The couple insisted they take their time and eat as much as needed. Ella was the last to finsih as he sipped his coffee and watched her. She took the last bite of her eggs and looked up feeling his stare. She swallowed the last bite as he smiled with amusement.

"Yes?" she asked setting her fork down and grabbing her coffee.

"Nothing, its just you never eat like that when I cook." he said joking.

"Can't recall a time in the week I've known you that you have cooked." she said teasingly back.

"You know they think we're a couple." he said glancing at the elderly couple who stood smiling at them.

"Well, we look good together. Let them stare." she said sipping the coffee. It was a bit chilly out and the coffee warmed her up.

He looked at her surprised. She felt the need to explain as he stare was making her cheeks warm.

"I mean, we're two good looking people. Not, well, not that-" she stopped herself as she began to blush and realize there was no way out of the statement that would wipe the mischievous look from his face.

"It's the cute smile, isn't it." he grinned.

"Don't we need to be on our way?" she said desperate to get in the chill to cool her face down.

"Yes, we should." he said standing and extending his hand to help her from her chair. She took it and just shook her head at him. They graciously thanked the couple for the generosity. They gave them to go coffee cups and food for their trip. Ella hugged them both.

"We have one more favor to ask. Would we be able to use your phone?" asked Bucky.

"Of course, said the older gentleman." he walked him to their office area. Ella stayed with the older woman. Her name was Cecile.

"How long have you two known each other?" she asked.

"Not sure." she said which elicited a strange look.

"Sorry, I mean about a week, well, we may have met years earlier. It's confusing." she said.

"Well, the way he looks at you dear, that's the way my Frank won me." she said. "You're the only thing in the room. That's how he looks at you. Cherish it."

She smiled as the sweet woman. Bucky and Frank reappeared.

"Tony's unlisted" he said. " If you're good we'll keep going?"

"Sure." she said.

Ella hugged Cecile and Frank one more time. Bucky did too and they headed out to the road.

"Why not wait there?" she asked.

"Best to keep moving." he said. He didn't want to concern her but they had no idea who else was out there and might be after them.

Just as they exited the diner Steve and Tony were walking up to the door.

"Well, well." said Tony.

"What took you so long?" asked Bucky looking at Steve. Steve smiled and hugged him. Ella couldn't believe it. She walked to Tony and threw her arms around him.

"Woah, good to see you too." he said hugging her back. She held him tightly. Tightly enough he knew something had happened and it wasn't good. He looked over at Bucky. Bucky looked away.

"Clint has the jet back at the facility. Well, where the facility used to be." said Tony as Ella let go of him. She couldn't look at Steve. He took notice. "Who's ready to get out of here?" asked Tony.

Ella smiled at Tony and walked over towards Bucky. He took her hand. "I think we both are." he said.

They all walked back to the plane. Steve kept a watch of Ella. She kept hold of Bucky's hand. She seemed distant. She kept a watch of either the ground or straight before her. She said nothing. Neither of them did. Tony rambled on about how they tracked them and how they came across the burning rubble. They finally made it to the plane. Steve and Tony entered. Bucky started to but stopped as Ella froze looking at the smoldering rubble. She wasn't expecting it to bother her, but it did. She was angry. She wanted them to die but now that it was reality, it didn't make her feel any better. She had no answers, only more questions. And pain. The pain of knowing she had a hand in what happened and still happens to Bucky. The pain of being beaten by him yet knowing it wasn't his choice. Yet, as he said, he did it. They both have to live with it. They both have the pain. She took Kreutz life. That was her choice. Self defense? Maybe, or vengence?

"Ella?" said Bucky. Her head snapped towards him. She became aware that she was staring out at the rubble for a time. Steve and Tony also looked at her from the entrance to the jet. She didn't want their pity or concern. She let go of Bucky's hand and walked to the plane.

She walked past Steve and Tony and sat on a bench behind the pilot's chair Clint sat in. She rested her elbows on her knees as she sat. She just stared at the floor. Bucky walked in taking a seat next to her. He put a comforting hand on her back. She couldn't look at him. He understood.

Steve and Tony closed the door and watched the two. Tony could see they'd been through hell and it was coming back with them.


	19. Chapter 19

Rumlow charged into the room.

"I see you made it." said the man in the white lab coat.

Rumlow grabbed the man and pinned him to the wall by his throat. "What the hell was that?"

The man grabbed his arm. "Listen, everything went as planned. You did great."

"Great?" said Rumlow tightening his grip. "Kreutz and Sam died?"

"Yes. They were inconsequential. I knew you would survive." he said gasping for air.

"But you might not." he said in a growl.

"Ella and Barnes did just as I expected. We are picking up right where we left off. Kreutz was in the way and Sam was clueless. They served their purpose. Now we wait." said the man.

Rumlow released the man as he took a deep breath. "You keep me informed of everything this time or I won't hesitate to kill you."

"Understood." he said rubbing his neck.

* * *

They landed back at the tower.

"Let's meet up in thirty minutes to discuss what happened." said Tony. Ella walked off the jet without a word as Bucky watched.

"Clint, very appreciative of your help today." said Tony.

"Anytime. Hope she's going to be ok." said Clint.

Tony smiled and patted his arm.

"Buck, you ok?" asked Steve waiting for his friend at the platform.

"Ok is really not an option." he said walking towards him.

"We need to get a new fail-safe installed." said Tony walking past them.

Bucky nodded to Tony and they all headed off the jet. Steve and Bucky headed back to their room.

"You want to talk about it?" asked Steve as Bucky took a seat on the couch.

"You should've left me in cryo." he said.

"What happened?" asked Steve taking a seat across from his friend. "Ella had a lot of blood on that shirt."

He hung his head, "They used the reset. They made her my mission." he said watching his friend's reaction.

"What was the mission?" he asked fearing he already knew the answer.

"To kill Ella." he said looking away from Steve. Steve wasn't sure what to say. "I went after her." he said. He hated himself for what he did to her. He tried to focus on not thinking about the details. Even if he forced himself to ignore the mental images, the emotional tie to all of it was not as easy to ignore.

"She can help. Buck, we haven't even had time for her to work with you." said Steve.

"And what happens when the wrong memory is triggered and I attack her? The mission was never completed. How do I know I won't finish it?" he said. "I won't put her through that."

"She can counter you." he said seeing the desperate fear in his friend's eyes.

"She didn't. She didn't counter me. She said she couldn't dial into my thoughts. I was ready to kill her, Steve." he said looking at him to drive home the point.

"But you didn't." he said.

"You sound like her." he said frustrated. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration and took a deep breath. "So when can we get me back to cryo?"

"Buck-" started Steve.

"You can keep her safe." he said.

"So can you. You made a promise to me and to her. Buck, no one said this will be easy and we know the risk." said Steve reassuring him.

"I know, but that promise was broken the minute I put my hands on her. When I punched until she was nearly unconscious. I threw her by her leg into a wall, Steve." he said angry that his friend was still defending him. No one should.

"It wasn't you." he said.

"It was me!" he said angrily. "I was completely aware. I couldn't stop. I didn't want to. Tell me how that wasn't me." he said.

"I know you." he replied.

"I'm not that person. The person you knew. The person who wouldn't do that." he said. He felt as if he were bouncing between sadness and anger.

"You're tortured by it. That doesn't sound like someone who was a willing participant." he argued.

"If you won't put me back in cryo then I can't stay here." said Bucky.

"Bucky. We took you out for a reason." he said.

"Then I can't stay." he said.

"You can't run." said Steve.

"I have memories of Ella." he said changing the subject.

Steve looked at him curiously. "Other than this experience?"

"Yeah. She helped with the technique of resetting me." he said shaking his head. "She took pity on me and helped me."

"Buck, that makes no sense." he said.

"I remember her from the past." he said. "The reset. They forced her to perfect it. She told me she was using a hypnosis technique using a word string. She asked me for a word that had meaning to me in a sentimental way. Something from my past. I said nine because that is how old I was when I met you."

Steve smiled, "She constructed the technique to bring you back under their control? How did that help you? I thought that was already in place years ago?"

"She helped them perfect it in a way that wouldn't need the neuroshock that always came first. She said that using that word in the string would keep me conscious, connected to me but I would remember everything." he said. "She said it was only until she could find a way to counteract the effects."

"But she didn't?" he said,

"No," said Bucky. "after one of the missions when I came back. I knew I had to get her out of there. They were experimenting on her too. So I took her. We escaped."

"So she is capable of undoing this reset?" said Steve. "They were experimenting on her years ago?" said Steve.

"I don't know. It was probably something similar to us to be able to withstand whatever experimentation. She has some healing abilities in addition to her own that allowed her to hijack mine." said Bucky.

"Have you told her this?" asked Steve.

"No. I can't." he said.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because she needs to remember it on her own. And maybe it's better if she doesn't." he said.

Steve sat back. "You care about her."

"You don't?" he said defensively.

"You know what I mean, Buck." he said looking at his friend. Bucky knew, but it didn't matter.

"Like I said, it's better if she doesn't remember. " he said. "She's hurting right now because of me. Stay close to her. Make sure she's ok."

Steve looked at him. "Bucky-"

Bucky stopped him, "Take care of her."

Steve looked at his friend. His heart sank at his words, "You're leaving."

Bucky said nothing as he got up and went to his room to pack his things.


	20. Chapter 20

Bucky headed to meet Tony in his office.

"Ah, there you are." said Tony as Bucky walked in. He knew before he left he needed the fail-safe. "This shouldn't take long." he said grabbing a few items from a metal cabinet.

Bucky took a seat.

"Just roll your sleeve and extend your arm. This is a different fail-safe with a bit more protection from hackers." he said as he set it in place inside his arm and using a small device fastened it. He then proceeded to place a smaller device inside directly next to the fail-safe. "This is a little item that should you ever need us, just press the red button next to the fail-safe and we can track you." he said closing the small hatch on his arm and securing it closed.

"Thanks, Tony." he said standing.

"Going somewhere?" asked Tony.

Bucky looked at him wondering how he knew. "Yeah." he said. "Ella will be safer if I'm not here."

"Is that what she said?" he asked.

"It's what is best for her." said Bucky.

"How so?" asked Tony leaning on his desk.

"At the facility, they programmed me to kill her." he said.

Tony looked at him confused. His heart raced at his words but he kept calm. "So what stopped you? I thought Winter Soldier mode was unstoppable?"

"She stopped me." he said.

"Then why leave?" he asked. "She seems able to hold her own with you two."

"She's better off with Steve." he said.

Tony watched him. "Seems to me you're controlling the situation. I would venture to guess if I asked Ella she would want you to stay, so she could help you. You're taking that choice away by leaving."

"I'm taking the threat away." he said.

"No, see, you know what it feels like to have no choice. That's not freedom. It's control." said Tony.

"It's what I have to do." he said feeling the sting of Tony's words.

Tony realized there was no point in arguing. "Ok, well, if you need us, you know how to call us up." he said shaking his hand. Bucky nodded and walked out. He left knowing she would hate him. Maybe that is what she needed to move on. He wasn't sure where he was going, but he needed answers.

* * *

Ella laid on her bed. Her wounds hurt but were healing. Her emotional wounds were raw and fresh. She knew she needed to talk to Bucky. She walked over to their room and knocked. Steve answered.

"Ella. Hi." he said.

"Hi." she replied. "Is Bucky here?"

"No, he's actually with Tony repairing his arm." he said. "You're welcome to wait here."

She walked in and sat on the couch. "I need to leave here. I can't stay."

Steve looked at her shocked, "No, our job's not done."

"It's more complicated than you two being my bodyguards, Steve." she said.

"Bucky told me what happened to you two at the facility." he said.

"Then you know I'm no solution." she replied.

"Solution?" he asked.

"I helped them. The monsters that did this to him. I'm one of them." she said.

"Unwillingly." he argued.

"Does it matter?" she said.

"Yes." he said.

"Not how I see it." she argued back.

"No matter what they said. He needs you. We need you." he said.

"We? No. No one needs me. I don't even know who 'me' is? A week ago I was a psychologist working in a simple private practice out for coffee. Now? Now I'm part of some Natzi sympathist group?" she argued.

"That's not who you are." he said.

"No, see, that's his story." she said referring to Bucky.

"They messed with your head, Ella." he said.

"That's an understatement." she said rubbing her arm. The injury still sore. "What did he tell you." she said curious as to their conversation.

"Enough." he said.

"Yeah, the secret of me that everyone else is in on but me." she chuckled.

"Then we help you find out. It'd be the best way to protect you. You can still help Bucky and I'll be there to handle things if anything is triggered." he said.

"You really think I should stay?" she asked.

"Yes." he said standing at the kitchen bar and crossing his arms.

She let out a long sigh, "Then I need some space." she said standing and walking to the door. He put a gentle hand on her shoulder as she walked past him. She winced.

"You ok?" he asked concerned.

She ignored the question, "Tell me, how do you trust someone you don't know?"

"You trusted Bucky and I? Did you know us?" he asked.

"Not fair. I wanted to help you." she said.

"Helping requires a level of trust." he said trying to get her to understand. They trusted her and she trusted them.

"Then I trust you to not kidnap me and let me make my own decision about leaving." she said.

"Ella, you're the best chance Bucky has and I'm asking you as a preliminary friend to please stay." he said.

Ella smiled at the term. She extended her hand. He took it and pulled her into him to embrace her. "Ok, now your space." he said letting her go. Steve gave her a smile as he left the room. Ella waited for Bucky. He returned within 10 minutes of Steve leaving. He looked at her and smiled walking into his room. Ella stood and followed him. "I wondered if we could talk." she said as he grabbed his backpack and began to pack. "Excuse me, where are we going?" she asked.

He turned to look at her, "We, are going nowhere."

"You think you are?" she asked.

"I'm looking out for you." he said.

"Seems contradictory." she said.

Bucky stopped packing and turned to look at her. "In light of recent events, it's in your best interest."

"Maybe you are my interest?" she said realizing it may have come out wrong. "I mean I'm here to help you and you're staying. We had a deal. It still stands."

He turned back to his bag and zipped it up. "You're still delusional."

"Maybe." she said.

Bucky stepped past her to the door. Ella looked at her wrist and placed her finger on the device Steve gave her. Bucky seized up. She ran to him as he fell unconscious. She didn't want to do it but she couldn't let him leave. She caught him and gently brought him to the ground. The device on her wrist flashed on and off. Steve busted through the door in a panic. He looked at Ella as Bucky laid in her lap on the floor. "He wasn't as easy to persuade to stay as I was."


	21. Chapter 21

She was deep in thought as she read her book. She was highlighting passages to review later the could be of help to Bucky with his memory, but more importantly breaking the control the word string brought over him. That was the top priority.

Bucky woke slowly and saw her reading next to him. He ached all over. The shock. He never forgot the aftermath of how it felt. "So you have the guts to do it after all." he said scooting himself up to sit resting against the headboard.

Ella turned her head quickly in surprise. She hadn't heard him stirring. "You left me no choice. I'm sorry." she said trying to calm her racing heart.

"Choice. Yeah." he said remembering his early conversation about choice with Tony.

"Are you ok?" she asked concerned as she put her book down and watched his slow careful movements.

"Completely fine." he said smiling. "Don't worry. I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't be and I'd be more worried if you made it out the door." she said. "Neither of us is going anywhere."

He looked at her surprised at her tone. He wasn't used to such a direct tone from her. "Really?"

"Bucky, we have a lot to discuss on top of the fact that you made a deal to let me help you. You think I'm going to let you walk away? It didn't work so well the first time and I'll be damned if I let you go out there after knowing there is more than just Kreutz to all of this." she said sternly. She omitted the fact that it would break her heart if he left. Her heart was her matter. She wasn't open to sharing it even if it was begging her to.

"So you're looking out for me." he said smirking.

She rolled her eyes. "I've kept you pretty safe so far."

He started to speak then stopped himself. He was about to counter her comment by saying he kept her pretty safe too but it was a lie. He almost killed her. Ella saw his eyes turn from a playful glint a deep sadness. "Yeah," he said looking up at her. "you have."

She wanted to tell him it was ok, but she couldn't. So she focused on what she could. That she would help him as much as she could. "So tomorrow we can get started?"

"Yeah, that would be good." he said.

"Good. Well, then we have a few ground rules we need to discuss." she said. "First, there is the doctor client relationship." she said looking at him to make sure he was paying attention. He was. It made her stammer as his blue eyes stared intently back at her. "Uhm, we, well." she stammered and the corners of his mouth began to curl seeing her struggle. She remembered their time at the hotel and her words to him as he beat her. She had to explain herself but in the moment she just felt embarrassed and had to just state it as she could so they could move forward. "In a nutshell," she snapped, "no more kisses on the cheek." she said feeling accomplished she got it out.

"Ok, got it, I promise to avoid your cheek." he said grinning at the insinuation he knew would redden her cheeks.

She sighed hiding her face in her hands. "Bucky." she said in resignation.

"Ella, I'm teasing. I'll get better first." he said.

"And no jealous ridiculousness because someone takes my hand to lead my down a hall, ok?" she said.

"Alright but I draw the line outside of hallways." he said again pushing her buttons.

"Maybe this won't work." she said eyeing him. "You know I still am wearing the trigger for your fail-safe and I believe the shock device is recharged."

"I just thought since you told me you loved me." he said smiling great big. He enjoyed teasing her but he did want to discuss her words, those words she has spoken to him. He needed to find out why she had said it. If there was anything behind it. He prayed so.

Ella knew her face was bright red. "That." she said as her stammering returned,"that is a heavy discussion and we have to meet soon with Tony, so we need to discuss that later?" she said getting up from her chair.

Bucky got up quickly to stop her, "Wait." he said. As he took a step standing his knees went weak. Ella grabbed him to steady him as he fell towards her.

"Woah." she said as she steadied him. He gripped her arms to keep his balance. They stood nearly eye to eye. "You better lie back down." she said realizing her voice sounded weak. She felt strange being so close to him.

"I'm fine. Better, actually." he said standing before her still holding her arms.

"Good." she said again almost in a whisper this time. She watched his eyes. They stared steadily at her. He briefly looked down at her lips then back to her eyes. "Maybe you should lie back down?" she said focusing to make her voice stronger. It was wavering as now she felt weak in the knees herself. He said nothing but moved even closer to her. Her mind froze. She needed space but she didn't want it. This could be bad, she thought, very bad. She kept eye contact as he brought his face closer. She hated herself in that moment. She was betraying herself. She had just given him the speech and now he was disobeying it. He was going to kiss her and she was going to let him? She was confused. She had to try to remove her mind from the situation, or maybe moreso, her heart. They both heard the door open. "Lay down." she said as the demanding tone reappeared.

"Ok, but remember, my plan was to avoid the cheek." he said sitting on the bed. Ella scowled at him as she returned to her chair by his bedside just as Steve appeared.

"Bucky, you ok?" he asked.

Bucky looked at Ella and then to Steve, "Never better."


	22. Chapter 22

- **PAST** -

They walked for hours in the woods beyond the facility they had just escaped. Bucky knew they could not stop until they were far away. They needed to create distance. They came across a small cabin that looked abandoned. He could tell Ella was exhausted. He pried open the door. It was full of cobwebs and unfurnished. He checked the sink. There was no running water.

"We should stay here and rest." he said.

She shook her head in agreement. She sat down shivering in the corner. There was a small wood stove. He went out and gathered some sticks to burn. He brought them in and shoved then in the stove. She knew the smoke could give them away but he didn't care. He knew she needed to get warm and he could handle whatever search party came their way. He used some rocks and got the fire started. She huddled near the stove.

"What if they find us? They'll kill us?" she said.

"Not if we kill them first." he said looking out the window.

* * *

- **PRESENT** -

They all went up to Tony's office to discuss the events. Ella still had butterflies. Bucky kept close to her but not in a way that made Steve or Tony suspect anything. Ella was paranoid. They needed to talk. After the meeting she was going to talk to him. She wasn't sure if they could work in the way that was needed if he was pursuing her. She could not clear her head of the emotion. She was constantly at war with herself. Her heart wanted to pursue him but her head reprimanded her as a parent with a naughty child who just wanted their way. It would complicate everything they were trying to accomplish. If they had these feelings for one another then decisions could be made that would be based in the wrong thought. Bucky had enough going on and she now had the knowledge that she was part of an experiment and had worked with the monsters who did this to Bucky. Neither should be thinking of each other in any way other than platonic. She just needed to make that point to him.

"Ella, is that correct?" asked Tony.

Ella was pulled from her thoughts, "Uh, sorry, is what correct?"

"Bucky said that you were able to pull him from the Winter Soldier mode somehow?" he asked. Ella looked at Bucky who was staring at her.

"Yes. It's true." she said.

"How?" asked Tony.

"I'm working on that. I have a theory. In simplest terms, their control involves the rational mind but the emotional mind is what seemed to cause him to awaken, in a sense." she said looking at him as she spoke then turned to Tony.

Tony watched the interaction between Ella and Bucky. He wasn't sure what was going on exactly. "Ok, how did you override it?"

Ella looked at Tony across from her and then to Steve next to her, "I told him I forgave him. I thought he was going to kill me. I knew he remembers everything so I wanted to make sure he remembered my last words to him were that." she said feeling the emotion rising up, she took a deep breath to calm herself. Steve took notice and put a comforting hand on her back. Ella felt it and refused to look at Bucky.

"Ok." he said. "What happened after that?" asked Tony.

Ella finally turned to Bucky. He could tell by her eyes she wasn't up for this. He took her hand. "Kruetz sent his men in. I took them down until Rumlow grabbed Ella. I surrendered. They took us both to adjacent cells. I broke us out. Then we both fought our way out."

Tony sat back and looked at both of them. "Ok, well, tomorrow I'm looking into this Kreutz and see if we can track anything down from that location. Ella, we need to look closer at you and your past. I need to get fingerprints, DNA, etc."

"Tony." said Steve feeling his friends had been through enough.

"Steve, I said tomorrow. Tonight we are celebrating you guys are back so go shower, nap, whatever you need. At seven o'clock this evening we are going out." said Tony.

"Excuse me? Uhm, no. We just got back from hell and I really need to talk to Bucky about some things." said Ella.

"Sure. You can talk it over on the dance floor." he said smiling.

"I don't dance." she said.

"Well, then you're in for treat!" he said leaving the room.

Ella just shook her head. Bucky squeezed her hand before letting go. They all stood up and walked in silence to their rooms.

"Did you want to talk now?" asked Bucky. Ella turned to face them both as they all stood outside their rooms.

"I think it can wait. I'm really kind of tired and you should rest too." she said opening her door. "But we will have words, you're not getting off that easy, Barnes."

They both smiled at her. "Good to see someone keeping him on task." said Steve patting Bucky's arm as he walked into their room. Bucky lingered. Once Steve was out of sight he whispered to her.

"Am I in trouble?" he asked.

She smiled at him, "That will depend on your answers later." she teased. "For now, just rest easy and help think of a way to get us out of this dancing thing?"

"I might not be much help. I'm kind of looking forward to it." he said.

"Well, that makes one of us." she said walking into her room. "Get some rest."

* * *

Ella showered and had a nice long solid nap. She woke up with an hour to get herself ready for the evening out. She toyed with telling Tony she was sick. She knew it would be rude so she forced herself to pick out a dress from the closet. Tony had stocked it with every available outfit for any occasion. She picked out a black dress with a black shawl to cover her recovering gunshot would on her arm. He also had provided jewelry so she picked a pearl choker necklace to cover the healing yellow tinge still on her neck from bruising. For a moment she flash backed to Bucky's hands tightly on her neck. She quickly brushed the image from her mind. The decided to wear her hair down in soft curls pulled to the side slightly. She wore the basic makeup of mascara, blush, and lipstick. She was not one for a lot of makeup but tonight would be an exception. It wasn't really a lot of makeup but felt like it to her. She grabbed a black clutch and threw in her lipstick, a small notebook, and pen. She wanted to be prepared in case Bucky shared any details that may give her insight for their session tomorrow. Her mind raced wondering if she still had time to get out of this. A knock at the door told her, no, it was too late. She opened the door and saw Tony, Steve, and Bucky staring back at her in tuxedos.

"Wow, you guys look great. Tuxedos suit you." she said smiling. She wasn't feeling so out of place now. They all smiled.

"Well, let me be the first to say you clean up very nicely." said Tony.

"I showered." replied Ella.

"You look beautiful." said Bucky staring at her.

She smiled at him taking notice that his hair was pulled back. "Thank you." she said stepping towards him and pushing a stray hair behind his ear. He looked down at her smiling.

Tony looked at Steve. "Ok, well, now that we agree we all look great and Bucky has every hair in place we should get going."

They took the elevator to the street where a limo awaited.

"Isn't this a little high profile?" asked Ella.

"Yeah, I'm not so sure this is a good idea." said Steve.

"I rented out the back area and have security all over the building inside and out. However, it is still mandatory we travel in style." said Tony.

Steve opened the door for Ella and they all climbed in. They arrived in a short time at the restaurant. It was beautiful. An old historic building. As they made their way inside the interior was marble with gold and red tapestry. It was lit with a warm golden glow. Tony extended his arm to Ella. She took it as Bucky and Steve followed.

They sat at a small secluded table in the corner of a large hall. They were served several courses. Ella had never eaten in such a fancy establishment. They had a polite meal outside of Tony's teasing comments to everyone.

"Well, I'm ready to dance." he said looking at Ella.

"Why are you looking at me?" she asked. "I'm digesting."

Tony smiled and stood extending his hand to her. He wasn't taking no for an answer. She looked at Steve and Bucky then stood talking Tony's hand. "I don't know how to dance." she tried as a last resort. He guided her to the dance floor.

"I think we should get her out of here." said Bucky. Steve looked at his friend. He knew he didn't care of Tony but he swore his friend was almost sounding jealous.

"You know you could go rescue her." said Steve.

Bucky felt tense at his words. His actions at the facility still heavy on his heart. "You're more of the hero than me."

"I don't care for that attitude." said Steve.

"We haven't had time to process anything that happened and I'm really missing the effects of alcohol right now." said Bucky.

Steve laughed. "Well, you always loved dancing." Bucky ignored his comments. Steve stood up and began walking to them on the empty dance floor. He tapped Tony's shoulder. Bucky could see them talking as Ella stood. She looked at him and shrugged. As the two talked Ella looked out to the long hall that led to the other part of the restaurant. She saw a man that seemed to be staring at her. Her heart sank. He looked like the doctor from the facility. He quickly hurried away. Ella walked towards the hall as the two men talked. Bucky saw her moving towards the other area of the restraint. He stood and walked towards her catching her before she walked down the hallway.

"Ella, where are you going?" he said grabbing her arm. She turned to face him.

"Bucky?" she said as if waking from a dream.

"Ella, did you see something?" he asked. Tony and Steve walked over to them.

Ella looked at Bucky. Her head hurt. For a moment she forgot where she was.

"Everything ok?" asked Steve.

"Yeah, I had to get Bucky over here somehow. " she said pulling him to the dance floor.

He rested his hands on her hips and she placed hers on his shoulders as they dance to the slow melodic music.

"Ok, you lied to them. Why?" he asked.

"Can't we just dance?" she asked.

"Sure, we can dance while you tell me what you saw to turn you white as a ghost." he said.

She looked at him seeing he was not going to give up on this. "I thought I saw the doctor from the facility but that's not possible. He's dead?"

She felt him grip her a bit tighter. "He should be." said Bucky. She saw his jaw clenching. He looked around the room as they danced.

"Bucky?" she asked to bring back his attention. She was beginning to panic slightly. The memories of when he attacked her. His tightening grip and distant stare.

He finally made eye contact. She let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. "Maybe Steve and I should check it out."

"Maybe you should stay right here in my arms." she said.

"I think you're in my arms." he said.

"Now who's delusional. " she joked. He rewarded her with a big smile that calmed all her panic. Bucky looked at her knowing that he couldn't risk them getting their hands on her or using him against her. This was their strategy and always had been. To draw her out. To separate them, take her hostage, and when he came to rescue her, she was used as leverage for his compliance. Then the experiments would begin again.

"Do you sense a threat?" he asked her.

"No." she said.

"Well, if that is the doctor then he knows your ability has limits." he said.

"You had to bring that up?" she said.

"You don't have my healing anymore." he argued.

"I have my own version." she said.

"I can't let anything happen to you." he said looking into her eyes and pulling her gently closer to him. His tone made her wonder exactly what he was talking about. "I have a session with you tomorrow." he said smiling.

"Yeah and you need it." she said smiling back at him.

"Yes, I do." he said. He had a way of saying things that made her wonder if they were on the same page or if he was implying something else. Ella and Bucky walked off the dance floor over to Tony and Steve to fill them in. Tony proposed they go back to the tower and he could tap into the security footage and they could watch from a safe distance. They all agreed and left. At the tower Tony brought up the live footage but the man Ellla saw was not there.

"Can you pull up footage from earlier?" she asked. Tony quickly pulled up the security footage of the main hall.

"There." she said pointing to the screen. She turned to Bucky in disbelief as Tony froze the image and enlarged it. Bucky continued to stare at the image.

"Please tell me I'm wrong." she said to him. Bucky continued to stare at the image.

Ella touched his arm. He put his hand on top of hers. "It's him."

"The doctor from the facility?" asked Steve. "I thought there were no survivors?"

"Maybe that's what they wanted you to believe." said Tony.

"Why be so bold to show yourself in such a public place?" asked Steve.

"We need to get out of here. They know we're here. We can't stay." said Bucky.

"I agree. I need to work with Bucky though, somewhere where they can't locate us." she said.

"I have a few places off the grid, as the kids say." said Tony. "I can set you guys up there until you get him free of this control. One, condition, Steve comes along."

Bucky nodded at Steve. "The sooner we go the better."


	23. Chapter 23

**-PAST-**

He could see her shivering. There wasn't much wood and the fire was going out. He searched the cabin and found some old blankets. He laid them out near the stove.

"Sleep here." he said to her. She laid down and wrapped herself in the blanket. She couldn't stop shivering. He laid down next to her and gently placed an arm around her.

"I'll lay next to you to keep you warm." he said. She turned to face him. She looked up at his face.

"Thank you." she said cuddling up close to him.

"No need for thanks." he said. She put her head close to his chest. She relaxed into his warmth. He wasn't sure where they would go. She seemed to have no memory of who she was and he was not sure exactly what they had done to her. He knew there was something familiar about her when she spoke to him. It wasn't until they picked up the guns that he remembered. A fragmented memory but a memory of the two of them in a ballroom. He walked up to her and whispered into her ear. She took his arm and they walked from the building. As they got into their car and drove off, explosives detonated leaving the building in rubble. Their mission was to eliminate a top British intelligence official. The mission was complete along with many other innocent casualties. He wished he could remember the words. When he spoke them she seemed to know exactly what to do and who he was. So they did know each other in some capacity. If he could remember the words maybe she would know him? The problem is, he didn't really know her outside of the familiar feeling. She stirred in his arms. He brushed the hair from her face before laying his own head down to rest.

They awoke to the door busted in and three men surrounding them. Bucky jumped to his feet and met the three men head on. Ella watched as he easily fought the men and knocked them unconscious.

"We need to go." he said to her. She sat frozen. A distant emptiness in her eyes.

"wir sind nicht unsere eigenen (we are not our own)." she spoke to him.

"Ich bin dein, du bist mein (I am yours, you are mine.)." he responded without thought or hesitation.

Her eyes softened. His words triggered something in her. She stood and walked to him. She grabbed his arm and kissed his cheek. "Bucky, I've missed you."

He remembered. That night in the ballroom. She had spoken the German to him and he had responded. She took his arm and kissed his cheek saying those same words as they left. He knew her and she knew him. At least for the moment.

The two grabbed the guns from the unconscious men and headed out.

 **-PRESENT-**

"I think we need to talk to the doctor. Going into hiding won't give us answers." said Ella pleading her case to Tony.

"Yeah, well the plane leaves in an hour." he said ignoring her idea.

"Tony, I'm serious." she said.

Tony hit a few buttons on his computer and brought up the doctor's picture. "He's a general practioner in Greenwich Village. You might have a case of mistaken identity. " said Tony. "No history of being anywhere except his practice day in and day out. I hate to say this but you both have had your heads messed with and-"

Ella stopped him, "You really don't need to finish that statement." She said clearly upset. She resented the fact he didn't trust their perception based on their past.

"Something going on here?" asked Steve walking into Tony's office.

"Nothing except Tony being Tony." Ella said storming out.

"What was that?" asked Steve.

"Ella thinks they know that doctor but I found out he is just a GP in Greenwich Village. I suggested their minds may not be in the best state to be identifying who they think they saw." said Tony showing him the information.

"Well, that explains why she is upset." said Steve.

"What? Too soon?" said Tony.

* * *

Ella hurried into her room and slammed the door.

"Woah, what is going on?" asked Bucky. Ella jumped.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she asked calming herself down.

"I wanted to talk to you and I think you wanted to talk to me." he said.

"Ok, but you stay on your side of the couch." she said sitting down.

"I think we should talk to the doctor." he said.

She stared at him. "Me too. I just talked to Tony about it and he disagrees."

"I think we can convince him." He said.

She looked at him and smiled.

"Now, what did we need to discuss." He said.

She hesitated. "We can't." she stopped herself. "The flirting."

"It's not flirting." Said Bucky.

"Whatever you call it, it has to stop. We can't. I told you we can't and then you almost kissed me." She said trying to get him to see her point.

"But I didn't." he said.

"You didn't because Steve was walking in." she said.

"No. That's not why." He said.

Ella was getting frustrated that he was countering her at every statement. "Enlighten me then?" she challenged.

Bucky wrestled with telling her what he did remember about her. That he did remember her. He wasn't sure it would change anything. That it would help her. All he wanted to do was protect her. He didn't want to push her away. "I remember you."

"I know. You said you did but refuse to tell me details, so care to tell me how that constitutes not flirting?" she said.

"Ella, what Kruetz said was somewhat correct. I have fragments of us during missions."

"And?" she questioned.

Bucky wrestled with what to say next, "You just have to trust me."

"I do." She said. "I just don't understand? Were we lovers? I mean what is the constant draw to each other?"

He looked at her, "Each other?"

She felt the blush across her cheeks, "Are you avoiding the question?" she asked diverting his scruitiny of her answer.

He gave a quick smile. Her answer seemed to acknowledge that she felt drawn to him. He took note of her blushing cheeks also, "I think it's important for you to remember the details, but the relationship was more than missions. I'm not really sure the true nature of us. It's fragments."

"Ok, well, let's keep it check. We play by my rules. No flirting" She said. "We know what we need to do now and we need to say focused. The deal, ok?"

He shook his head, "The deal."

* * *

They both went to talk to Tony. They convinced him to allow Ella to make an appointment with the doctor. Steve and Bucky would go along with her. Tony dropped them off and would return in an hour.

"I still don't agree with this." said Tony.

"I know." said Ella. "See you in an hour so I can say I told you so."

"I'm not really sure that's what I want to hear in an hour." he said.

"She'll be fine." said Bucky. "I promise."

Tony nodded as they shut the door and he drove off. Ella looked at Bucky. He knew she didn't like when he played the overprotective card but she would just have to live with it. They all walked in to the lobby. Ella checked in with the receptionist then sat between Bucky and Steve in the waiting room.

"You guys want a magazine or something?" she asked trying to keep her mind off the gravity of the situation. They were throwing themselves back into the fire if this was the doctor and they were bringing Steve with them.

"I'd rather keep alert." said Steve.

"Ella MaCoy." called the receptionist. Ella stood and was escorted back to the exam room. The doctor walked in.

"Hello, Ms. MaCoy. How can I help you?" he asked looking at her and smiling.

She watched his reaction. "I'm having some memory problems." She said.

"How long have you had this problem?" he asked. "Did you hurt your head?"

She stared at him but saw nothing to make her think he recognized her.

"Do you recognize me?" she asked.

He looked at her, "No, I'm sorry. Have you been here before?"

"Ella MaCoy? You don't remember me?" she asked again.

"No." he said.

"Now, have you had any recent brain trauma?" he asked.

"No, you helped me with my gunshot wound in my arm and side." She said.

He looked at her confused, "I don't normally handle those injuries here." he moved to the door and summoned the nurse. The door opened and in walked Rumlow. Ella jumped from the table.

"Ms. MaCoy, your fine. This is our intern." Said the doctor motioning to Rumlow. Rumlow leaned to the doctor and whispered in her ear. The doctor seemed as if he changed states and when looking at Ella had recognition. "Ella?" he looked at Rumlow and then his surroundings.

"Ms. MaCoy, you have a choice. It is completely yours." Rumlow said.

Ella stood ready to fight.

"We're offering you the chance to return to your work with our group in exchange for Mr. Barnes complete freedom." Said Rumlow.

Ella looked at them both, "You lie."

"This is not a lie. If you agree, we will clear his name with all international and federal, state, local agencies by tonight. We will allow you to return with Barnes and Rogers to ensure he receives the news. Once you hear he receives the news you will call us, excuse yourself explaining they no longer need you, and leave. We will then pick you up to return to your research with us." Said Rumlow.

Ella stared at them.

"If he is not cleared then you don't come, easy as that." Said Rumlow. "You just saw how the doctor had no memory of you until I whispered the trigger word in his ear. Then he became our doctor again. It's allows us to have an army ready. They can live their normal life until needed. We use them for the mission and then they can return to life as normal. If questioned, they have no memory of being anywhere but their normal life."

Ella looked at the two men. Bucky would be free.

"They won't let me go with you even if I agree." She said.

"Once you call us you will be given a word. This word will return you to who you once were." Said Rumlow.

"Why not just say it now and we're done? Why all this chasing me down if it's that simple?" she asked.

"We needed him to know you were alive." Said Rumlow.

"Who?" she asked.

"Barnes." Said Rumlow.

"Why?" she asked. She wasn't sure what to do. She wanted to help Bucky, but she couldn't trust these me. Could she? "Why would you do anything that remotely resembled helping us? Barnes can take you down right now if I let him know you are here."

"And then he will constantly be looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life." Argued Rumlow. "Your choice."

"Of course, because why would he ever have a choice. You and your sick organization robbed him of that."

"And you can give it back to him. Your life for his?" said Rumlow.

Ella looked at the doctor. "You seem awfully quiet. Care to chime in on any of this?"

He just stood quietly. He turned to look at Rumlow. "You can speak."

"We need you to continue your research. Whether you accept this offer or not they won't stop coming for you. You will never be with Barnes or anyone. If you want to protect him, this is what you need to do." He said.

Rumlow looked at him approvingly.

Ella felt a sickness in her gut. Her instinct told her this was it. "So once he is free and I make the call to you, you are going to say a word that will make me forget myself and become someone else?"

"It is a unique world, yes. You chose it yourself. You perfected it." Said the doctor.

"Then how do I know you don't come after Barnes once I become whatever this word produces?" she asked.

"I give you my word." Said the doctor.

"Nice try, but your brain is not your own." She said. At her own words an image flashed in her mind. It was her and Bucky in a small cabin in the cold. They were speaking German to one another. A knock at the door shook her from the memory. A nurse entered.

"Ms. MaCoy's friends are wondering if everything is ok." She asked.

The doctor addressed the nurse, "Yes, please let them know we are running a bit behind."

Ella looked at the phone they had given her.

"I should go." She said.

"We will look for your call." Said Rumlow as she walked out the door.

Ella walked from the room down the hall to the waiting room. The two men stood.

"Are you ok?" asked Steve. Bucky could tell something was off.

"Fine." She said. "It wasn't him." She said walking past them out the door into the sidewalk. The two chased after her.

"Ella, that's quite a fast pace for everything being fine." Said Bucky. As she hurried across the street the two kept pace. As they got to the opposite sidewalk a shot rang out hitting the cement by their feet. Bucky grabbed Ella and pulled her behind the nearest car as Steve followed.

"Fine?" asked Bucky looking at her.

Ella looked at him irritated. "The shooter is on the third floor of the doctor's building. He's waiting for us. Waiting till I'm out of range." She said tapping into the shooter's thoughts.

Steve looked at Bucky. "Her abilities have physical limitations so he's waiting for her to be out of the range so she can't anticipate his shot."

"I'm sorry, I didn't see this one. A few things on my mind." She said.

"Yeah, we'll discuss those." Said Bucky looking her in such a way she knew it would be sooner than later. "Steve, take her and get her safe. I'm going to run the opposite direction to draw their fire on 3." He said.

"No!" shouted Ella. "We all go together." Bucky looked at Steve who nodded. Bucky let Ella go as Steve grabbed her in his arms.

"No, put me down." she said looking at Steve. Bucky looked at Steve. They exchanged a look. Ella hated their unspoken bond at this moment.

"1, 2, 3!" yelled Bucky as he headed right. Steve held Ella tightly shielding her against himself and ran left. He cradled her head pressing it firmly to his neck.

"He has us in his sights. He's waiting till we are out of range to fire." She said trying to see where they were. He kept her head held firmly.

"How far till we are out of range?" asked Steve sprinting.

"The next alley." She said as they came up to it. "Once we are past the alley." She said knowing the man had her head in his sights. He was planning to shoot through Steve if needed. She wasn't going to share that with him. She pressed against his grip to push her head up into his sight so Steve would not be hit. She wasn't suicidal but if this is how it was going to end she'd rather he not be a casualty. At least not physically.

"Hold on." He said as they ran towards the alley. A shot rang out as Steve quickly switched direction and ran into the road hurdling a car in his path. They made it easily across the street to the opposite alley and out of sights of the shooter. Steve let her down keeping hold of her. Ella was confused. Did Rumlow have it planned? Was this some sort of final message to realize the constant danger? To push her towards the decision to keep Bucky safe? It worked. This was too much.

"We have to find Bucky." She said.

"We have to get back to the tower. He'll meet us there." Said Steve. Even though they hadn't really finished their plan he knew Bucky would want to make sure Steve made good on keeping Ella safe. He trusted Bucky would make it back. He knew he would do everything he could to make it back. When he did, they both had questions for Ella. Whatever they just escaped had something to do with their visit to that doctor.


	24. Chapter 24

They safely made it back to the tower. Bucky was not there. Several hours went by and he didn't return. Ella couldn't sleep.

"Tony, use your technology. The facial recognition? His arm, didn't you put something in his arm like a homing device?" she said panicked.

"Ella, I have scans running constantly and alarms to go off when we have a hit. Get some rest." Said Tony as he walked from the living area of his main room. Ella headed back to her room. She took the elevator down to the main floor. It had been four hours since they split up. As the elevator opened she found the front door blocked by Steve and Tony. She hurried and hit the button to close the elevator doors. The two men caught it before the doors shut.

"Mind if we ride with you." Said Tony.

Ella sighed.

"I hope you weren't trying to leave the building." Said Tony. "Ella, Bucky will be fine."

"That's a nice sentiment but I think we all know what Hydra's or their sympathists are capable of and he is still at risk for mind control. They know it and they will use it. We're wasting time waiting for him to show up." She said.

Steve looked at Tony. "I understand your concern but you know that he has overcome the control."

"Only after he nearly killed people he cares about. Not the best contingent plan." Said Ella. "Why should we put him at risk for more regret?"

The elevator opened and Ella stormed out heading to her room.

"I'll let you handle it from here." Said Tony hitting the button for his floor. "Have fun." He said to Steve as he got out and followed after her.

"Ella." He called out. She ignored him and walked into her room slamming the door.

Steve opened the door and walked in.

"How can you be so calm? How can you let this go on?" She challenged. She turned to face him. If he was going to be bold enough to come into her room, then he was going to meet this head on.

"Ella, you're being a little irrational." Said Steve.

She glared at him, "Really? Irrational about his safety?" she was trying to calm herself but she found it impossible. "You don't' know what they did to us. We shared the surface of the true details with you two."

"Ella, I'm sorry. I know— "started Steve but Ella cut him off.

"You don't know!" she said angrily. She felt the tears welling in her eyes, "Where the hell were you?" she exclaimed. "All of Tony's technology and it took you two 48 hours to find us? Do you know what hell those 48 hours were? Hell that we could've been spared?"

Steve just stared at her, "We did our best."

"And that wasn't good enough. I'm going after him." She said walking past Steve towards the door.

"No." said Steve as he grabbed her arm. She tried to pull away from him but he kept his grip firm.

"Let go!" she said struggling against him. She pounded her fist against his chest. He caught her fist and held it to his chest.

"Ella, I know my friend. He asked one thing of me and that was to keep you safe. If I let you walk out that door, then I fail you both." Said Steve. "I'm not letting go."

She stopped fighting against him.

"I also know that if my friend's not back by morning." He paused looking her in the eye, "I'm going after him."

She nodded to him. She was angry at the situation, not Steve. She knew he would do anything for his friend.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"No." said Steve taking her hand. "It's good to know someone else is looking out for him too. I knew from the first day we had picked the right person to help him. You don't' have to apologize for that."

"Yeah, well, don't thank me just yet." She said as she remembered the choice Rumlow left her with.

Steve insisted on sleeping in her room. Ella protested. They compromised and stayed up watching TV on the couch. They both drifted off. Ella woke up around 4:00am. She got up and Steve woke up too.

"Where you going?" he asked.

"To Tony's." she said.

"I'm coming with you." He said.

"Seriously, guys. There's been no hits on facial recognition or locating the tech in his arm. I don't know what to say. I'm trying. I swear." Said Tony groggily.

"I'm not waiting any longer. I'm heading out." She said.

"Ella, give him time." Said Tony.

"Tony, you really think with every moment that passes that this will turn out positive?" she said looking right into his eyes. He said nothing. She made her way to the elevator with Steve following.

"Wait, Steve." Said Tony motioning for him. "Ella, just wait. If you two are going, you'll need some things."

Ella stood by the elevator as it closed. Steve and Tony moved into the next room. She turned and stared out the large windows that lined the wall. The city was so peaceful in the dark early morning. Her mind raced where he could be. Was he hurt? Did they get him? If they hadn't caught him then why wasn't he here? They had to have him. She mentally prepared for a fight. To go after him. That when they find him, he might not be him. They may have to fight him. If the tech could not be located maybe Rumlow had him and already removed it knowing it was traceable and a fail-safe to take him out of commission. The elevator ding knocked her from her thoughts. The doors opened. Bucky walked out of the elevator as Steve and Tony hurried from the room at the sound of the elevator. Ella stood in shock. He looked bruised and battered. She was relieved and angry.

"Bucky, are you ok?" asked Steve.

Bucky looked at Ella, "Yeah."

"Ok?." She said coldly. He put his hand gently on her arm.

"Maybe you prefer the term fine?" He said referring to her answer at the doctor's office. "We need to talk."

"We just did." She quipped. "Glad you're safe." She said to him pulling her arm from his hand. "I think I'll head down to get some rest now." She said to Steve and Tony. "Welcome back." She said to Bucky as she walked past him in to the elevator.

Bucky watched her go. He knew she would be mad, but it was a risk he had to take. He looked back at Steve and Tony. "I'm sorry. I had to chase something down before I could come back. I had to remove the fail-safe and tech to make sure you couldn't follow me."

"What?" Steve asked.

Bucky threw a file on the table. "Ella's file."


	25. Chapter 25

Rumlow held the gun to the doctor's head. "He left with the file?"

The doctor was sweating as he accepted his fate. "Yes. He forced me to tell him what we discussed with Ella."

Rumlow pressed the barrel harder into his forehead. "And you willingly gave it to him?"

"Do you see the bruising? The cuts? He tossed me around the room like a doll. Would you rather me have kept my mouth shut and died?" he asked.

"Would've saved me the trouble." Said Rumlow.

"This complicates nothing. You know that." Said the doctor.

"If by this time tomorrow the plan does not go as scheduled, you'll wish you would've died at his hands." Said Rumlow dropping the gun.

* * *

 _***********ELLA'S FILE***************_

 _EXPERIMENT # K348 E.L.A._

 ** _NAME_** _: Elise Lauren Amiel 'Kreutz'_

 _ **BIRTHPLACE:** WITHHELD_

 ** _SEX_** _: Female_

 ** _D.O.B_** _.: WITHHELD_

 ** _ABILITIES_** _: Observed E.L.A. anticipate and counter attacks. Suspect develops telepathy when attacked. Telepathy not exhibited outside of perceived threat. Enhanced strength when attacked. Testing showed E.L.A. mimicked strength/ability of her attacker as defense for survival. Serum #4958 produced results as needed regarding enhanced healing ability. E.L.A. subjected to multiple scenarios of attack. E.L.A. most severely damaged by ASSET but was able to withstand and counter attack. This will be repeated to ensure E.L.A. can withstand most brutal opponent._

 ** _EXPERIMENT(S)_** _: Administered psychotropic enhancers and memory inhibitor to subject. Neuro electric shock used to subdue the long term memory to allow viability for enhancer and inhibitor. Subject then susceptible to suggestion. Dr. Meuller completed the process by giving the information to subject of the persona to be used on mission. Dr. Meuller used a hypnotic technique to build persona to be used for mission. Dr. Meuller used specific phrase given to ASSET to return E.L.A. to foundational persona state after completed mission. This would allow all knowledge of the mission to be erased. Initial mission to terminate subject's family successful. Upon return from mission, once in foundational persona state the subject had no memory of mission. Subject genuinely in disbelief at death of family._

 ** _NOTES_** _: E.L.A. while in foundational persona took interest in ASSET. Subject concerned about ASSET's process for reset. Concern was addressed and used subject to perfect process without neuro electrical shock. Updated ASSET's file._

 ** _SURGERY_** _: Egg retrieval for cryo completed. Sterilization considered – order withdrawn by Kreutz_

 ** _DOCTORS ATTENDING_** _: Mueller, Kreutz, Stahl_

 ** _ALIAS_** _: Ella Macoy, Sara Kyle, Eva Barnes, Cynthia Downes, Sofie Weber, Rosalie Smits, Lauren Daly, Anna Bruce, Natash Morgan, Audry Fuller, Elina Tsahalis_

 _***************END REPORT********************_

* * *

"How can we trust this file?" asked Tony. "They have been manipulating you two, right?"

"It's all we've got." Said Bucky.

Steve looked through it. "No birthdate or place listed." He sighed. "They have over ten aliases listed for her." said Steve, "They used your last name for one." he said looking at Bucky.

Bucky looked at Steve. There wasn't time to explain now.

"Yeah, they primed her to take on multiple personalities as they needed for missions." Said Bucky.

"Were you the only asset? If so, looks like you have the key to her reset." Said Steve.

"To my knowledge. The problem is, I have no memory of that." He said feeling frustrated.

"You two are quite the match." Said Tony. Steve and Bucky looked at him annoyed. "Sorry, just you thought she was your key and turns out you are hers. Or maybe it's more mutual than that?"

Steve and Bucky ignored him, "So what do you think their next move is?" asked Steve.

"Ella." Said Bucky.

"Then what are you two sitting around for. I think we need to share this information with her." Said Tony heading to the elevator. Steve and Bucky followed. As the elevator doors closed Tony's phone rang.

* * *

Ella knew she had little time to get out now that Bucky was back. They would want to talk to her about the doctor. She never heard the news that Bucky was cleared, so she never made the call. A knock at her door startled her.

"Who is it?" she called out.

"Ella, open the door, please." Said Tony.

She unlocked the door and opened it. Steve, Bucky, and Tony stood staring back at her.

"We need to talk about a few things starting with the doctor." Said Tony.

"Yeah, I thought you might but seeing as Bucky just got back and I'm sure has quite a story to tell." She said but Tony cut her off.

"I just received word that Bucky has been cleared of all charges from all agencies, international, federal, state, you name it." He said.

Ella did her best to look surprised. She didn't have to try too hard because she was. She didn't trust Rumlow and his crew but they did it.

"That's great. You're a free man." She said. He looked at her with a solemn stare. "You can smile." She said.

"This news kind of leads us to want to know more about what exactly went on at the doctor's. That and the psychotic shooter." Said Tony.

Ella looked at Tony, "It wasn't him."

"Ella, something was off when we left there." Said Steve. "You didn't even sense the threat."

Ella looked at Bucky, then to the other men. "I can't stay. I can't keep doing this. I know I said I'd help but I haven't. In light of what I learned at the facility, I just need to leave."

This wasn't sitting right with Bucky. "Ella, that doesn't make sense and you know it."

She found it hard to look him in the eye, "It does to me." She said doing her best to keep eye contact to convince him.

"Ella, if there is something going on you can tell us and we will help you." Said Tony.

"I wish it were that simple." She lied. "I just can't do this. You have to respect that. You guys looked after me and protected me."

"Bucky retrieved your file." Said Steve. Bucky looked at Steve disapprovingly. He wanted to wait to tell her.

"Ella, I know that was the doctor from the facility. He had your file." He said.

Ella couldn't hide her shock. "You risked your life for my file?" she asked irritated. "This is why I need to go. There is nothing in my past I want to claim if Kreutz was right. I've done enough damage. Counselors are a dime a dozen. You'll find a good one out there." She said attempting to walk past them.

Bucky stepped in front of her. "It's not about your service, it's about you."

His words gave her goosebumps. "I hurt you." she argued.

"And I hurt you." he countered.

"I can't forgive myself." She said.

"That's where you're in luck, I can." He said.

"You're so stubborn." She said.

"I know." He said. "Part of my charm."

"Not sure that's how I'd define it." She replied.

"Got plenty of time to talk it over." He said hoping he was getting through to her.

She walked close to him and spoke in almost a whisper. "Let me go."

He leaned close to her cheek to speak in her ear a soft, "No."

"I don't know what our past was but we can't have a future." she whispered to him. Her heart sank. She didn't want to say those words but she had to find some way to create space. She had to get out and make the call. He stared at her. She could see the hurt in his eyes. She had to stay strong. "You have to let me go."

"I won't. I don't care what deal you made with the devil to clear my name." he said staring into her eyes. "I'm not leaving you, not this time."

"This time?" she questioned. "Bucky."

"Tell me you made no deal there with the doctor or Rumlow." he said.

"What?" she said in shock.

"You might not talk but I found a few people who did." he said.

She scanned his face. The bruises fading and cuts healing. "They made a deal with you. Your life for my clear name." he said.

She was speechless.

"This is what they do, Ella. They can't be trusted but every time they play with our heads we forget enough to think there is hope." he said. "The only hope we have is each other. You have to believe me."

"It's the only way I can help you." she said as she felt a tear fall down her cheek.

"No, it's not. I need you here, with me, with us. We need to go with Tony's plan and leave. We stick with the plan, our deal." he said. It was usually her, it seemed, directing him. Now, he was turning the tables. He took his hand and gently wiped the tear from her cheek.

She turned around and looked at Steve and Tony.

"If you leave, we follow." said Steve.

"Agreed. So let's take the short route around all this and you listen to Bucky." he said then mumbled, "Can't believe I just said that."

Ella turned back to Bucky. "Please?" she said as she stifled the tears. As she pleaded with him she saw a tear fall down his cheek. "No." he said as he broke her rule by wrapping his arms around her and holding her closely to him. She buried her head in her chest as she felt the tears fall. She felt drained and scared. She appreciated each of them but this was not the plan. She felt she had sealed their fate by letting them keep her here and not go. She had no idea what would happen if she did not make the call.

"Tony, can I talk to you a moment." said Steve sensing Ella may need a moment. The two men walked out as Steve touched Bucky's shoulder to let him know they'd be near.

Ella brought her hands to wipe the tears from her face. "So spill it. Our past. What is so crucial that I have to stay?"

Bucky pulled a chain from his neck and handed it to her. She looked at the chain that had an antique diamond solitaire attached. She examined the ring. On the inside of the ring she saw the initials "JBB+ELA".

She looked up at him, "Are these your initials?"

He shook his head, "Ours." He said. "I guess I only remembered your initials, that's why I called you Ella. The point is, no matter what their plans, they couldn't erase you from my heart or mind."

"You gave me this? When?" she said feeling confused.

He took her hand and placed the ring on her left ring finger. It was a perfect fit.

"I'm not sure. I know I did and-" he said but Ella stopped him.

"Wait, are we engaged? Married?" she asked.

He looked at her wishing he had an answer, "I'm not sure of the specifics but I know it's a promise to be with you, that I am sure of."

"How can we be sure it wasn't part of their plan?" she asked.

His had thought of that after seeing the alias listed in the file. He was going with his heart of this one.

The phone in her pocket rang. She pulled it from her pocket. Bucky stared at her.

"Who gave you that phone?" he asked seeming to know the answer.

"I have to do this." she said as she opened the phone to answer it. She could still complete the deal. As she hit the button to take the call Bucky grabbed her wrist. "No!" he shouted.

Ella turned away from him. Just as she brought the phone to her ear he knocked it out of her hand. As it hit the ground it turned on the speaker phone and slid out of sight.

"Ella." came the voice.

Bucky grabbed her around the waist and put his hand over her mouth. She struggled but his grip was too much for her to break.

"Your plan failed." said Bucky.

"Barnes. We always have a back up plan, you should know that." said the voice. I have a feeling she's not far from you." The man on the other end began to speak the string of words in a foreign language. Bucky seemed to freeze at the first few words. She tried to look at him to see his face. She screamed into his hand hoping to snap him from it or draw Steve or Tony's attention. The man on the phone completed the words string, ". солдат (Soldier)?"

His grip loosened and she turned to look him in the eye. She felt sick. The distance in his eyes. She tried to move but he still held her. She tried to scream but still he was not phased.

"Готов к Соответствуют (Ready to Comply)." said Bucky. Ella fought hard against him as she knew the voice on the other end meant harm to them both.

"Finish your mission, soldier" said the voice. His empty stare focused on her. She pushed away from him. He allowed it.

"No!" she screamed at the phone. She turned her attention to Bucky as she slowly backed away, "Bucky, it's me, Ella."

"She is your mission soldier." said the voice.

"Shut up!" she yelled. She needed to find the phone but at this point the damage was done.

"You should've called as our agreement." said the voice.

"Rumlow?" she asked recognizing the voice.

"Seems his clean slate will now be tainted with your murder. Well, you tried." the phone went silent.


	26. Chapter 26

She looked at Bucky who looked at her with a monstrous ferocity. "Bucky, please. I swore to protect you. You don't want to hurt me and I don't want to hurt you." He marched towards her. She ran to the kitchen to grab a knife. Her abilities still not working with him. She couldn't anticipate his move. She couldn't dial into his head? In her split second of hesitation he grabbed her by the neck and pulled her over the counter flipping her to the ground. The all too familiar as he sat above her and he began to choke her. She had to hold on until the shift where her abilities would allow her to mimic his power. Suddenly Bucky let go and flew to the side. She gasp for air as Steve stood above her. He reached down and helped her up.

"What happened? "he asked as Bucky charged him knocking him into the wall and grabbing Ella by the arm. He threw her into the glass patio door that led to the balcony. Ella struggled to stand. A large piece of glass was lodged in her arm. She pulled it out ready to use it to defend herself, but again, it was too late, Bucky picked her up by the neck preparing to toss her from the balcony.

"Bucky, no!" yelled Steve. Bucky lifted her over the edge of the balcony. She dangled by her throat from the 52nd floor. She wrapped her hands tightly onto his. It was the only thing between her and certain death. The completion of his mission. She could barely breathe. She briefly saw Steve staring at her. Just as she saw him sprint towards them. She looked at Bucky. His eyes still staring at her with an emptiness that made her feel cold. She saw no way out. She looked at her hands wrapped around his. The diamond sparkled on her hand. She felt his grip release. She fell from his hands as she briefly saw Steve push past him to reach for her. His hand missing hers only by an inch. She heard him scream then saw Bucky pull him back from the balcony. She closed her eyes awaiting the impact. She felt the fall stop and then felt as if she was floating. Was this death? She slowly opened her eyes and saw the glowing eyes from the red metallic armor before her.

"Hydra's not the only one with a backup plan." Said Tony's voice through the armor.

"Don't hurt him." She said.

"You're welcome, by the way." He quipped. "And why shouldn't I? He just threw you off the balcony to your death."

"It's not him, you know that." She said.

"Yeah, getting a little tired of that explanation?" he said. "I'll try to be cordial. Hold on."

She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly as they flew up towards the balcony she fell out of.

"I think I need to get you to a safer floor." He said.

"No, you need to get to Steve to help restrain Bucky now." She said.

They heard the struggle as they approached the balcony. "You stay right behind me at all times." He directed. "He comes at you just remember, I was defending you."

They landed on the balcony and carefully put Ella down. Tony fired a concussive blast at Bucky. Unfortunately, it affected Steve too but it gave Tony time to fly at Bucky and knock him to the ground. He used his hand and sent a shock through Bucky which kept him down. He was nearly unconscious. Ella ran to Steve.

"Are you ok?" she asked. She could see the cuts on his face.

"That's my line." He said smiling at her.

She smiled back as he embraced her. His grip made realize he was as terrified as she was.

"Sorry to break the moment, but Steve. I need you." Said Tony removing his mask.

Steve walked to Tony as Ella approached the barely conscious Bucky.

"Is he ok?" asked Ella.

"I have to be honest. I really don't' care." Said Tony.

Steve held his arms behind his back and put his knee on him to hold him down. Ella knelt next to him. She brushed Bucky's hair from his face. She pressed her lips to his cheeks and gave him a soft kiss. "I'm sorry," she whispered as she heard the faint ring of the phone. She looked towards the noise of the phone "I have to do this."

Steve and Tony were busy restraining Bucky and did not notice Ella retrieve the ringing phone. Bucky stirred. His eyes opened searching for Ella. He saw her pull the ringing phone from beneath the couch. Their eyes met for a brief minute as she put the phone to her ear. He began to struggle against Steve and Tony. "Ella!" he yelled. The men fearing, he was ready to attack again pinned him down. She hit the button and answered the phone walking from the room. "No!" he yelled.

The voice on the phone spoke, "Elise Lauren Amiel Kreutz, Hydra welcomes you as their own." Ella felt as in a trance. "We are waiting in front of the tower. Come now." She blindly obeyed as she heard a struggle in the background. A voice screaming. A familiar voice. The familiarness fading with each step.


	27. Chapter 27

"Get off me!" yelled Bucky thrashing against Steve's hold. Steve kept him pinned to the ground. The shock Tony gave him to subdue him was wearing off.

"Dammit, Bucky." exclaimed Steve as he pressed his friend to the ground.

"Language." said Tony pressing his armored hand onto Bucky's back sending a jolt to his system. Bucky lay unconscious.

"Was that necessary?" asked Steve.

"Which part?" smirked Tony.

Steve ignored him. "I need to find Ella." he said walking out into the hallway.

Tony called out to his system, "Friday, locate Ella."

The voice stated, "She is gone."

"What?" he asked. "As of when?" he asked panicked.

"She left in a black car approximately 8 minutes ago. New York plates KR7865. They headed north."

"How did she get out of the building?" he said.

"You downgraded security levels when you left in the suit to save Ella."

Tony sighed as the realization of his slip up sunk in, "I did, didn't I."

* * *

Steve checked several floor before checking the foyer leading to the front doors. There he found an envelope. He grabbed it and headed back to Tony and Bucky. He found Bucky lying still unconcious on the floor pinned down by metal restraints as Tony worked on his arm.

"Just plugging in a new fail-safe and I'm not telling him how to remove this one." said Tony closing the small area on his prosthetic tech arm.

"I couldn't find Ella." said Steve trying to restrain his panic.

"I know. She's gone." he said standing. "According to security she left."

Steve's mind raced, "Rumlow? Bucky said the doctor was with Rumlow." he was mad at himself for not keeping Ella closer.

"That's my guess." said Tony.

Bucky began to wake up. He fought against the restraints that pinned his wrists to the floor. He managed to free his right hand and using his free hand pulled off the other. He rushed to his feet. Tony readied himself, still in his armor, to fire.

"I'll give you that." said Tony referring to his escape from the restraints. "Now, just give me a reason to fire."

Bucky clenched his jaw knowing they had reason to restrain him but in the process of doing so lost Ella. The anger and guilt tore at him. He said nothing and rushed to his room grabbing his backpack to head out. Steve followed after him.

"Bucky, are you alright?" asked Steve wanting to make sure which Bucky was before him.

He grabbed his jacket. "Just peachy." he grumbled walking past Steve. He grabbed his friends arm to stop him.

"Ella's gone." he said.

"Yeah, and so am I." he said trying to leave. Steve held his arm.

"I found this by the front door." Steve said handing it to Bucky. He took it and opened it. A note read 'she won't be needing this' inside he saw her ring. He closed the envelope and shoved it in his pocket. He was impatient to find her and punish Rumlow and whatever accomplices he had with him.

"We need a plan." said Steve to Bucky.

"Yeah, well, seems like you guys could've handled that while I was unconscious shackled to the floor." he said.

Steve knew he was mad. "We just discovered it."

Bucky pulled his arm from his friend's grip. "Great job." he said walking into the hallway. Tony blocked his path.

"You're not the only one who cares about her so if we are going to rescue her then we're working together to do this right." said Tony. "I already completed step one by installing your fail-safe."

"Tony's right." said Steve standing next to his friend. "Rumlow and the people he's working with know how to reset you. You need us there if it happens again."

Bucky looked at Steve with sadness and confusion as he realized what he'd done. "I threw her off the balcony?"

"Yeah, you did." scowled Tony. "Lucky I'm a good catch."

Bucky looked at Tony, "Thank you." he said looking him steadily in the eyes.. Tony could sense his sincerity and gratitude.

"So, the plan." started Tony.


	28. Chapter 28

Rumlow briefed Elise(Ella) once they returned to the facility.

"Elise, you'll be working with Dr. Stahl focusing on the research. He is currently head of the Neuroscience division at a small university in New York." said Rumlow.

"New York? We're staying in the area then?" she asked.

"Yes. They will be looking for us. They won't suspect us being right under their nose." he said.

"Where is the Asset?" she asked.

"He's no longer part of the project." he said.

"Why not? He was crucial in the project and research." She said.

"We keep tabs on him if needed." Said Rumlow.

"I see." She said leaving the issue yet not understanding.

Rumlow could see her disappointment. "It's for your protection,"

She looked at him confused, "My protection? From what?"

"Him." said Rumlow. "Maybe it's best if you don't remember. "

She looked him in the eye, "Remember what?" she did not care for the accusation that the Asset brought harm to her. They had always worked together with no issues. In fact, he was very protective of her.

"The last mission. The plan was for you two to return to the facility after the completion of the mission. You didn't. We had to rescue you, Elise." said Rumlow. She sat staring at him. She tried to recall the mission. She remembered leaving with him. They left in the car as the building blew up. She did not feel any threat ever with him. As she recalled the memory she remembered how he held her hand in his as they drove. Her ring sparkling in the moonlight. The memory abruptly ended. "No, he wouldn't do that. Kidnap me?" she said.

"Traumatic memories are sometimes suppressed, you should know that." said Rumlow. "I saved you and I won't let him hurt you ever, ever again." he said.

Elise (Ella) wasn't sure why but his words did not sit well with her. He seemed sincere but it had to be a lie. Why would he lie? She looked at her finger. A ring? She knew she had a connection to the Asset, to Bucky. They did missions together. He protected her always. He wouldn't hurt her. Her mind was jumping from memory to memory. Why had she thought of the Asset and then the name Bucky? She felt strange.

"Elise?" said Rumlow.

She snapped from her thoughts. "I'm sorry. I don't remember any of that."

"It' probably for the best." he said. "Let's get you to your room to settle in. It's good to have you back." said Rumlow.

* * *

"Did she believe you?" asked Stahl.

"She seemed to. I told her we were protecting her from the Asset." said Rumlow.

"Good. If we can continue to reinforce this then she will doubt him if he should come for her." said Stahl. "She is a major part of this project."

"What if it doesn't work?" asked Rumlow.

"If they can't be controlled, then sadly, we have no choice but to eliminate him." said Stahl. "With Kreutz gone, she is the key to making this work."

* * *

Elise (Ella) spent the next few weeks working on the research with Dr. Stahl.

"The combination of the psychotropic drugs along with the neuro shock has produced the results we were hoping for." Said Stahl. "Good work, Elise."

"Thank you, sir." She said. "What is the next phase?"

"We program the soldiers." He said. As he switched on a monitor. "Let me show you the success with experiment 89741J." It was a live feed from somewhere in the facility. A man in a t-shirt and jeans. "He was given the drugs and shock yesterday. We will present him with a homeless man who he has been told is his father." It showed the man in the t-shirt greeting the man and hugging him tightly. "Now he will be told the word to bring him under our control for the mission." The man pulled a phone from his pocket and answered. He listened to the phone. The man's eyes seemed to shift from the joy of seeing the man before him to an empty stare. He hung up the phone and walked to the man placing his hands one either side of the man's face. He wrenched them, snapping the man's neck. The man dropped to the floor. No sooner than the man hit the floor, the soldier seemed to snap from his empty stare. He looked to the floor seeing the man he was told was his father and he began to sob. He dropped to the floor screaming and shaking the man. The screen went to black. "We are very pleased with these results. Once their mission is complete they return to their civilian persona with no memory. They have even passed lie detector tests. They have no memory."

"Soldiers?" she asked. "I thought we had civilian volunteers?"

"The university has a program here for those returning from service. They come to our department for help with the issues they came back with. The most common issue is that they don't know who they are anymore or what they should do. They have forgotten how to acclimate to society. They only know war and their place in it. The government created the soldier. We are just giving them the purpose. Their identity." He said.

Elise was appalled. "That's not why they come to us. It's not ethical?" she argued.

"When has ethics ever been your issue?" said Stahl. "You seemed fine with your work on the Asset?"

"My work with the Asset was to prevent him being hurt by your crude methods. I begged you to stop. That much I remember." she argued.

"Elise?" he asked testing who was speaking to her. Her eyes met his gaze which told her what he needed to know. "The soldiers will be easily programmed. They can lead their civilian life until called for a mission. Should they ever be caught then it is easily excused as PTSD."

"These men have been through hell and this is no way to help them." She disgusted.

"We're the only help they have." He said. "This is the project you agreed to help with."

Elise (Ella) nodded to him. "I need some air." She said.

* * *

Elise (Ella) walked down the hall to Stahl's office. She decided to look around. Stahl seemed defensive. She wondered if there was more to this project. She found an old file cabinet and looked inside. She found a file with the Asset's name on it. She opened it up and began reading it. She was looking for clues. Stahl and Rumlow insisted she needed protection from him. Something in her knew that was wrong. Yet something told her he had hurt her. Her mind was bouncing from thoughts to feelings to memories? As she read the file she felt disgusted and angered at the ways they used him not just for missions but in other unimaginable and unspeakable ways. She saw another file next to his. Somehow she knew it was hers but it was not her name on the file. That name? She felt something in her shift. Her name. Before she could look at the file she now knew was hers, Rumlow walked in. She dropped the Asset's file and turned to face Rumlow. Her face was full of anger. He could tell she was no longer Elise.

"You think that's bad, you should see yours, Ella." He said.

He called her the name she saw on the file. He called her by her name she suddenly realized. She said nothing but rushed at him. He readied himself to take a swing. She ran at him and dropped to the ground sliding between his legs then quickly turning and kicking the back of his knees to knock him to the ground. She jumped on top of him and pressed her knee to his windpipe. He grasped weakly at her as he neared unconsciousness.

"Maybe your head needs messed with." She said contemplating whether to crush his windpipe. Just as she sensed a threat and turned a gunshot grazed her shoulder. She turned her attention to the guard shooting at her. She ran to him grabbing his gun and smacking him across the face with it. She turned to point the gun at Rumlow. Unfortunately, he was right behind her and grabbed her wrist. He squeezed it until the gun dropped. Her wrist snapped. She struggled against the pain as he landed a punch to her cheek. She fell unconscious. He drug her to a cell and threw her in.

"How disappointing. She has bonded more with the Ella persona than we anticipated." said Stahl standing by the cell. He looked at Rumlow. "Perhaps we need a reset?"


	29. Chapter 29

"You guys get in building and get to her as fast as you can. I don't trust this Stahl. If she has changed persona or whatever the stupid file said they have done to her, she might not want to come with you. If you have to, you'll need to use the shock to knock her out. Just get close enough to make contact. The device will take care of the shock and monitor vital signs. If it comes to that just get her out here as soon as possible. It's a university so if they blow the whistle on us and it will make front page news. Their division is in the basement lower level C. You go through the side door labeled 4 just like we discussed." Said Tony.

Bucky nodded silently. He was nervous. Tony looked to Steve, "If they start shouting words at him you know what to do."

Steve nodded. Tony had given Bucky an cochlear device similar to a hearing aid. When triggered, it would block any external noise so if they tried to reset him with the verbal cues Steve could activate it but they had to be together.

"Think we have it all covered, boys. If you need me, signal me and I'll fly in." said Tony. He patted Bucky's arm. "You owe me two now."

Bucky shook his head as Steve gave Tony a big smile. Steve was glad Tony seemed to be warming up to Bucky.

* * *

Ella was left alone in a room. The sedation had worn off. There was no one around her. She easily broke her restraints. Hopping down from the table she was laying on, she peered out the door. She saw no one in the hall outside. She decided to find the soldiers that Stahl had decided to experiment on. She found a stairwell that only led down next to the room she was in. She made her way down. She found a room. She looked inside and saw several men. They seemed to be fine. She tried to open the door but it was locked. She found a small office with a computer. She found the device Tony had given her to activate the fail‐safe for Bucky. She put it on her wrist. She logged on to the computer. They had not removed her from their system probably because they expected her still upstairs unconscious. She found a system that seemed to control the doors. She also found the files from her research. The research she and Stahl had just completed along with the video footage of the soldier Stahl had played for her. She quickly gained access and sent the data off to Stark's underground email. It was an email he used that was untraceable with IP tracking. Next, she opened the doors to the soldiers. She met them as the door opened.

"You need to get out of here." She said.

"Dr. Stahl is helping us." Said the one soldier.

"Just trust me. Something I can't explain and you are better off knowing right now. You need to get out of here now. Find Tony Stark, he will help you." She said.

"But you're his assistant." Said the Solider.

"As I said, it's hard to explain. Just go." She pleaded. She led them to a door. She hit the device on her wrist.

"Ella?" came Tony's voice from the device.

"Tony. Listen. I'm at the university." She said.

"I know. We're here. Bucky & Steve heading to the building now." He said.

"No, stop them. I'm sending some soldiers out the south maintenance tunnel. They will be coming out by the vacant lot." She said. "I also sent you a file to the secure email. It has all the research that was used on these men and what I created with Stahl. You have to help them." She pleaded.

"Ok, you come with them." He said.

"I can't. I need to retrieve some other files from Stahl's office." She said.

"El, now is no time for suicide missions. Where are you?" he asked.

"Get these men and Bucky and Steve out of here now!" she said.

"That kind of spoils the rescue." He said.

"I made my choice." She said.

"We disagree with your choice cause it's stupid." Said Tony. "Bucky's already on his way in. Steve has the guys and is directing them to our location." said Tony.

"No! Stop him!" she said.

"Too late." said Bucky appearing in the tunnel she had just sent the men through. She hurried to the panel next to the door to seal it. He ran at her and grabbed her wrist before she could. She cringed in pain. He released it looking at her.

"What happened?" he asked cradling her wrist.

She looked at him wanting to say so much and knowing there was no time. "Please leave." she pleaded.

"Sure." he said grabbing her other arm and pulling her along.

"No." she said pulling against him. "Bucky, I'm not coming."

"Right, that choice for my freedom in exchange for yours." he said stepping towards her. "They don't get to decide that. Or better yet, this is the result." he said pulling her along again.

"Bucky, stop!" she exclaimed. "Just go! Forget me, alright. You took a chance on me to help you and guess what, this is how it ends."

"I don't think so. And we promised to protect you. So guess what, I am. I'll kill everyone in here because I'm not leaving your side." he said.

"You're not a killer." she said.

"I'll be what I have to if it means saving you. Ella, I've been chasing down who I am for years. I write down anything I remember to try to forget what they made me. I know it sounds cheesy, but when I'm with you, I don't need to write it down. I know who I am with you."

Ella looked in his eyes. The sincerity and genuineness tore at her. She threw her arms around him hugging him tightly. He held her as close as he could without overpowering her. She let go and stood before him. He extended his hand. She knew now what she had to do. She took his hand. They walked through the doorway. He crossed through first. Steve called out to them at the end of the tunnel. Bucky looked at his friend and called back. Ella used the distraction to pull her hand from his and run to the door pad. She hit the switch to close the doors and seal them. Bucky ran back to the door pounding on it. "Ella!" he shouted.

She looked at him with tears streaming down her face and turned to walk back down the hall. Bucky tried to pry at the doors to no avail. Steve ran to his friend as Bucky saw through the glass as Stahl grabbed Ella placing a gun to her temple as he walked her into an elevator. A shot rang out as Bucky saw Ella fall from the elevator into the hall. He pounded screaming at the door. Steve and Bucky tried to pry the door open. Rumlow picked up Ella and disappeared with Stahl into the elevator.

"You guys need out of there now. A shooting has been called in by the university. SWAT will be there in 5 minutes. Since Winter Soldiers been cleared let's not push it. If he's found there I'm not sure I've got legal to touch that." said Tony over their earpieces. "Get Ella and go, now!"

Steve grabbed his friend's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Buck, we have to go." said Steve in shock.

Bucky turned to his friend with tears in his eyes but anger clearly overriding. "Not until I get Ella and kill every one of them." he said continuing to pound the doors. Steve saw his hands becoming raw and bloodied. He knew there was only one option. He hit the switch activating Bucky's fail safe.


	30. Chapter 30

It had been a month since Bucky had lost Ella. He moved into her room since Steve and Tony had decided to stay with Tony for the time being. He admitted he was lost and not sure what to do next. Steve kept a close watch of his friend. He gave him space yet was always there for him. Mostly he sat with him in the room as he stared out the window and played with the ring on the chain around his neck. He never explained it to Steve and Steve respected his friend enough not to ask. Steve knew Bucky would shared it when it was time. Of course he suspected it had to do with Ella.

"I found a therapist who might be our best bet at helping you." said Tony one morning.

Bucky just stared out the window. "I'm not up for that."

Tony sat down across from him hoping to gain his attention. "Ella's mission was to help you. She'd still want that now. More than ever. You can't give up. Believe me, I'm the last person to give you a pep talk, so know this is what she would want. At least try."

Bucky looked at him. "She doesn't even have a grave." he stated somberly.

Tony's heart finally broke for the man. "Go to the appointment."

* * *

Steve drove his friend to the appointment.

"You don't have to drive me. I can go alone." said Bucky.

"I don't think now is the time for you to be alone, plus I don't want you getting ideas to run off." said Steve.

"I got nothing to run from or to. I'm not going anywhere." said Bucky forcing a smile at his friend.

"I'll wait here." said Steve parking the car on the street outside the small building.

Bucky walked into the building and up to the front desk where a kind young receptionist showed him back to the therapist's office. The receptionist opened the door and he walked in. He froze as he looked at the therapist. It was Ella. It had to be.

"Mr. Barnes. It's nice to meet you. Please come in." she said as he stood in the doorway. He walked into the room feeling as if in a dream.

"Ella?" he asked in a daze.

She looked at him confused as she motioned for him to take a seat.

"I'm sorry? Ella? No, my name is Katherine Wolmur." she said. "Do I remind you of someone?" she asked.

He continued to stare at her in disbelief as he took a seat.

"Your friend made the appointment with me. I hope that is ok with you?" she asked.

He shook his head yes.

"He shared a few details with me about what you are dealing with. He mentioned that you recently lost someone close to you in addition to suffering from some memory loss." she said. "But I want to start where you need to and if that means sitting here in silence that is fine."

He stared at her not knowing what to say. His mind could not separate that this woman before him was not Ella. He noted the cast on her wrist. The same wrist that Ella had hurt the last time he saw her. It had to be her.

She smiled at him. "Who do I remind you of?" Bucky sat in silence. "I often think of a saying I was raised with when we meet people who seem familiar." she said, "wir sind nicht unsere eigenen which is German meaning we are not our own. To me it symbolizes-"

He looked at her cutting her off, "Ich bin deins und du bist meins (I am your and you are mine)." he said in reply.

She looked at him. He could tell something happened. Her eyes looked at him differently, like Ella did. He reached for his neck where he wore a chain and pulled it. He took the diamond ring from the chain and put it on the desk sliding it to her. She said nothing and picked up the ring. She examined it. As her eyes scanned the ring she saw the initials JBB+ELA. Her eyes shot up to look at him. A tear ran down her cheek. She did not break the gaze. He looked at her with tears and smiled.

"I've missed you." She said smiling back at him.

* * *

The End...for now.

***Thank you to all who read and reviewed. You guys are the best and who knows-i left a few open questions, well a lot for me to answer about these characters, so perhaps a sequel? We will see. Feel free to give me any constructive criticism or questions on the story you have. Thanks all!*******


	31. Chapter 31

I guess the title says it all, but just letting anyone who has read this story know that I have posted a chapter which is a sequel to this story called Reluctance: Until Death. You do not have to read it but just wanted to let you all know who took time out of your busy lives to read this one that the sequel is out there, well at least one chapter. Thanks again to all of you who have read! You guys are fun.


End file.
